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Worlbuilding - Blog Posts

michellymy

2 months ago

(I love the nixies. I wanted to “talk” nixian with them)

AO3

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Heated

They weren’t there anymore.

Kenyan searched the garden upside down, the castle, the forest, the city… but nobody saw them. Sure, her description of them wasn’t the greatest, but people had to notice that glowing person. They weren’t someone you glance at only once; they were like a magnet attracting her, and it should have happened with everyone else, too.

So where could they have gone?

She even wondered if they were an image from her mind, but, as far as she knew, hallucinations don’t act like they did:

An intruder broke the castle’s window yesterday, messed up Sylris’s chambers, stole food from the kitchen, cleaned her chambers, and put a big stuffed panda on her bed.

And nobody, not even Hiélo who was in her room, heard or saw anything while it happened. The only witness of the supposed “intruder” was her, Kenyan, when she was high, sleep-deprived, and with loss of blood.

It couldn’t have happened for real. They weren’t real. What she saw wasn’t an intruder. They even claimed the garden their home! What kind of intruder would be this bold at Maivtre? And the guards also searched for them in the garden, asked the Nixies if they noticed something and… nothing.

They had to be a figment of her imagination. A self-relief her brain came up with, that somehow worked.

Last night she fell in a deep slumber while hugging that panda (Hiélo said she threatened to set fire on him if he tried to take it), and that was far the best sleep she had in years. No dreams, no nightmares, no interruptions… just a full eight hours of rest. The migraine and nausea still came when she woke up, but that was common. She couldn’t have asked for anything better! Her mind was useful for once!

But even after being sure that person was something she invented, there she was in the garden, crouched by the flowers and signing to a group of Nixies.

Person. Light. There. Me. ?

And they shook their heads, no. Kenyan frowned slightly and tried again.

Walking. Jumping. Happy. Here. Home. ?

And they shook their heads, no. Also, one flew to Kenyan’s head, touched her forehead and dragged their tiny hands down her face. After staring at her, the nixie flattened their wings.

“You’re getting crazy. You were falling apart. Are you okay?”

She huffed and got up, quickly signing a “fine” for them.

“I told you,” the rough voice sounded behind her. “Nobody saw the intruder.”

“Yes, Élo, thank you for pointing out the obvious,” she replied harsher than expected.

His eyes squinted at her as they walked towards the tree. It was enormous, providing the same shadow she had used yesterday. The same shadow she shared with them. Right there. Where she felt them, their warmth, their excitement, and their happiness for being with her.

Could you imagine it? Even Kenyan herself couldn’t stand her presence, and someone, something, actually liked her!

“Kenyan, do you seriously don’t remember anything about their appearance? Gender? Voice?”

She sighed hard, rolling her eyes before turning at him.

“Why would I lie about it?” Her eyebrows raised. “Haven’t I been searching for them as well?!”

“How can I know what’s going on in your mind?” He crossed his arms. “They got you a teddy bear; how can I know if you aren’t keeping them hidden because of it?”

She flinched with the sharp pain on her head.

“Please, Hiélo, I might be a menace, but I am not reckless about this kingdom.” Her face scrunched. “If you think I can’t distinguish between safe and dangerous, you might as well have a problem with your mind.”

His jaw clenched as his tail lashed back and forth. Then, looking away, he pursed his lips. Avoiding talking to her. Avoiding her.

It was dizzying.

“Say it,” she demanded. “Now, while I’m listening.”

“…it’s not relevant.”

“I decide what’s relevant. Say it.”

He looked at her in that same reprimanding way. As if he was her father. As if she was a brat. As if he knew better than her.

“Look, I don’t want to offend you, but all you have been doing are dangerous and reckless things.”

“Ah, is that so? Thank you for pointing out the obvious.” She closed her hands on fists as her chest rose and fell. “I am aware of my dangerous and reckless behavior, General, and despite everything, I am still the Maivtre of this nation. I care about my people. I’ve been doing what I can to bear this burden, and I won’t doom it all over a teddy bear, as you swiftly placed in your statement.”

His eyes softened and her body tensed, shaking in disbelief.

“Kenyan, you know this isn’t what I said…” He reached for her hand, unclenching her fingers carefully. “I’m sorry if it sounded like that, I won’t ask again. Could you sit down and breathe slowly? Your head will get better if you do.”

There it goes. Hiélo, the white knight, and Kenyan, the poor queen.

Kenyan this! Kenyan that! Kenyan should! Kenyan could! Kenyan’s dumb! Kenyan’s wrong!

When will they stop treating her like a fool?

She shoved his hand away and paced back. “Keep guard from the outside. I’ll stay here for longer.”

“But you’re not fine, you should call the doct—“

“Yes, cause of my migraine, I am aware!” She glared at him. “Get out!”

He looked hurt at her, but she was already approaching the tree, finding that comforting spot amidst the roots. When she sat, he was marching at the door, and the place finally got its quietude back.

Her head leaned against the tree, and she breathed in, trying to control her heart. That unending pain was shattering her sanity, and the lack of answers wasn’t helping.

If that person was there, would they help her to calm?

No, but who in the cosmos could they be? A single day they appeared, and everything was messed up that much. A single day, and half the castle hates them. A single day, and they got her obsessed with them.

And they weren’t even real, were they? They came from her fractured soul.

So why couldn’t she summon them when she needed? Why wouldn’t they appear now? Why can’t they hear her crying?