Isn't it so incredibly interesting how both smith siblings handled their trauma in drastically different ways? But isn't it also beautiful that everything they went through together simply made them love & support each other in bajillion different ways!?!!
Nya’s mindset of, ‘’I don't need anybody, I can do everything myself. I can rely on only myself,” just means that “My parents betrayed me and let me down when I needed them the most, which has damaged my ability to trust.’’
This is hyper-independence, and that is a result of trauma. It was likely one of her prime ways to protect herself from vulnerability, building walls to protect herself from feeling a pain similar to what she felt when her parents disappeared, making it hard for her to love. She shows signs of ‘self-sabotage’ because she refuses to ask for help, and does not show vulnerability. She declined any affection (except kai, bc he was the only person who had not betrayed her/only dependable & trustworthy person in her childhood) in the earlier seasons, and has trouble doing things if she cannot execute them perfectly. Kai undoubtably worked hard to support her, and so Nya pressured herself to meet certain objectives for Kai’s sake, to ensure Kai’s work didn't go to waste. This likely lead to her habit of perfectionism, which with time, became a bigger breeding ground for severe toxicity.
Despite Kai offering her unconditional support, Nya likely did not want to overburden him with her troubles so she kept a lot of things bottled up. Her independency also probably derives from her will to try and make things easier for Kai (and later the team) so she minimizes asking for help. Rarely asking for anything at all, insisting on dealing with issues herself. She dragged this habit with her throughout her life, likely in fear of rejection. When it comes to grief and loss, she has a very unhealthy habit of pushing it down, trying to not feel anything especially when others are around (ex. in Hunted when nya and lloyd thought the others were dead, she pushed the grief down/started hiding it and distracted herself by focusing on/helping lloyd). When it comes to grief and certain other things she puts herself below others, prioritizing their needs instead of hers. All of these things are results of and/or mechanisms she developed from her childhood trauma.
Nya requires a lot of verbal affirmation and physical touch to open up (kai is an exception). A lot. Remember, it took a long time until she actually told Jay she loved him. But what Nya needed is was patience, and Jay was displaying that, and never criticized her for not saying ily back.
She could have chosen to leave all the burden on Kai, but when she couldn’t remove it, she did everything she could to lighten it. Trauma gave nya so many reasons to be an untrustworthy person. Trauma made loving people hard for her. Trauma made love a battlefield for her. Trauma made future relationships difficult for her to ease in. But despite this, Nya chose to be trustworthy. Trauma didn’t make her brave. She made herself brave so she could accept Jay’s (and the teams) love, and in time, selflessly tore down her walls so she could love him back. She chose to be there in the times of need for others, just as her brother was there for her. Her trauma gave her opportunities and opportunities to be scared, but she chose to stand her ground. She chose to be brave.
Kai’s <3
https://theatlasrealm.tumblr.com/post/692060841958408192/isnt-it-so-incredibly-interesting-how-both-smith