It’s frustrating when your parents just don’t listen. It’s upsetting at the fact that one doesn’t seem to care about who you choose to be.
I am not the child. I am not the child anymore, the child doesn’t need you anymore, I am the young adult that needs you. I am just confused on what to do as someone who wants to be seen as…them. I feel alone and yet I have those that love and care about me.
I don’t want to give up. I went through too much shit to just give up. I have too many things I want to do.
I want to see the snowy tundra.
I want to feel the warm sands of the beach.
I want to be engulfed by the salty waters of the sea and brushed by the branches of the green.
I want to see my friends smile & laugh.
I want to watch my favourite movie.
I want to listen to my favourite songs.
I want to smell & taste my favourite foods.
I want to live. I want to create.
I am not gonna die. I won’t die.
I am a knight who has seen & been through shit. I am not giving up!
I will not give up!
I will live. No matter what.
lights camera action by lana del ray gives me emotions that I can only describe as the need to peel off your skin and rot on the floor so that you never existed in the first place and not in a good way. Iblike the song its a good song and she sings it beautifully but I can't ever listen to it and even coming across it on tiktok is enough to send me into an episode. I don't know if I even saw it on tiktok but its in my head now and I was tryna have a good day but its hard when you feel the need to eat your own spine rn.