Zack Threads - Blog Posts
The tragedy of mortal life wasn't unknown to Zack. He oversaw the fields that he'd named his band after. They were a place of healing. Souls that needed rehabilitation came to rest among the asphodels before he chose which of them would be reborn for a second chance and which would rest for all of eternity in the Underworld once they'd had their time to recuperate. Some of the most traumatized of mortals ended up in his care, but it was different when Maggie began to describe her own personal tragedy. Those souls were already dead. Some of them hadn't lived full lives, no, but they'd ended all the same. Hers had barely begun, and it was already causing her such pain. It was threatening to snuff out her light.
"I don't feel sorry for you. Nobody should ever feel sorry for you. It takes a lot to endure what you have. I don't think even you realize that." He reassured her. "I understand you. My family is... They're a lot." It was an understatement. "There were expectations as to who and what I would be before I was even born. They gave me responsibilities when I wasn't even old enough to understand them. For a long time, they were- it was all suffocating. Even just the weight of being my parents' son, I felt like I would never get out from under all of it. I felt like I'd never be anything more than their son, like I'd never be my own person or find my own way. It took me a long time to carve out something for myself."
Longer than she could imagine, longer than a mortal could really conceptualize. He hadn't been ready for it. He hadn't really been confident enough to do it, hadn't felt like he was capable of being anything more than Hades' son and doing what was expected of him as the Underworld's prince. It had only been in the last few years that the band had come together and become his refuge, which was...a little pathetic, really. He wasn't about to admit to that. Maggie didn't have to wait as long as he had though, not when he could offer her a path to freedom. Whether it bothered her brothers or not, it wasn't like they would be able to stand against a god. Maybe she wasn't ready to jump yet. Maybe she simply needed a push instead.
The band would understand.
"I hope you don't still think you're unwanted." He began, lifting a hand to tuck a wet wave behind her ear before leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. "When I saw you on the barricade tonight, I could barely think of anything else. Damn near forgot half of the lyrics, and I wrote them. I've never been like that when I perform." Zack sighed. "But all I wanted was to just...look at you,"
The no he let out followed by a growl made her blood freeze and the hold onto him tightened, tips of black painted nails dug into the tattoos of his shoulders. Her lips fell open, wanting to speak but suddenly loosing the ability to under the heaviness of his tone of voice and the look he had on his face. It felt as if she has offended him with something. But before her brain could come up with something coherent to say, she was suddenly lifted up and it made her gasp in surprise. "Zack, what are you --- "she breathed out, her hold onto him tighter as he then placed her at the edge of the pool. Maggie wasn't that short of a girl but it was crazy how she still had to look up at him even as he had her sitting like this in the pool.
Of course he caught onto her poor attempt to change the subject. It made her feel almost embarrassed and the blush crept along her neck and cheeks. "I already believe you far more than I do others --- and I barely know you."Maggie said, and in a way it was a frightening to admit that. "And what does everything even mean, Zack? Because it might get ugly and you might end up not liking it."she continued on, her whole body feeling tense and arms staying tightly wrapped around his shoulders, because no matter how much she wanted to pull away she was going to try and sit this one through.
"Should I start with how I was an unwanted child? A complete accident that happened when my parents already had two adult sons? My father passed away before i turned five and I barely remember him, so it was just my mother and I because my brothers got sucked into the family business working with very dangerous people."Maggie spoke almost without catching a breath which only made her heart beat faster. "But then my mother began getting really sick, and she developed first stages of dementia. And I took care of her. I did the best I could, while staying put, keeping myself very low key, because it was expected of me. My brothers controlled what I did, where I went, because they always said I was in danger. Hell, I was in danger more than once because of them. If they knew I went out tonight to a concert without telling them, if they knew I was on this rooftop with you right now I'd be in big trouble."she let out a shaky sigh.
Maggie wasn't afraid of her brothers, if anything she loved them to death. She just despised the kind of life that was expected of her to live while they did whatever they wanted. And all for her safety, as they'd say. "And even as my mother got so bad, when she couldn't recognize us anymore and we put her in a care facility, I still didn't get much of my life back. I thought I would, as awful as it sounds, now that I didn't have to take care of her anymore. But I'm always watched, controlled, and am expected to be happy and thankful for the life I have. I don't struggle, I have the money, the place to live at, I'm young and healthy but I am not satisfied. Because I feel trapped."Maggie breathed out and felt all the tears that swelled in her doe like hues and she tried real hard not to blink as she didn't want to let them stream freely. "And if you say you're feeling sorry for me or even look at me in that way, I swear I'll just leave. I don't - I don't want you to feel sorry for me."she let out the last part in a slightly lower voice, even a hint of it breaking in the very end as she struggled to keep her gaze locked with his.
His fingers flexed against her skin, pressing into the soft curve of her waist as the anticipation of hearing her answer set in. Zack couldn't remember the last time he was so eager just to hear someone speak. More often than not, he was happy to be on his own and in his own head. His circle was small. There were friends and family among the chthonic gods and the Underworld's residents, of course, but when he was in this world, he was content to have just the band and the people working with them. Performances were the closest he got to connecting to strangers. Skotos was able to do that, able to feel their energy and return it back to them as some raw, powerful being that commanded their attention and demanded their worship.
But he didn't need to hear about the rest of them. He needed to hear about her, and he frowned when Maggie told him that her life wasn't that interesting. Did she not realize that everything about her was interesting? Enchanting? Enrapturing? Absolutely fucking spellbinding? He still didn't understand why nobody had told her. Even he couldn't solve that mystery. She deserved to hear it.
Just like she deserved to break free of whatever she was chained to, even if she wasn't telling him exactly what that was. Zack found himself worried then that she was suddenly being so vague about whatever that darkness was. Still, he leaned into her touch and silently pleaded with her to keep talking. He wanted her to tell him more and nearly pouted when she tried to change the subject.
"No," he declared, not realizing that the growl slipping into his tone sounded eerily like the one he'd performed with that night. "We're not doing that." Leaning down to grip her thighs, the god easily lifted Maggie from the water and held her at his waist. Carrying her to the edge of the pool, he set her on the ledge. They still weren't entirely eye to eye, but she was closer to his height now with him still standing in the water, tattooed hands on either side of her to cage her in while he stood between her legs and fixed her with a surprisingly severe gaze.
"Don't change the subject. I told you that I want to know everything about you. Why don't you want to tell me? Do you not believe me?"
Maggie held back a breath as he approached her again in the water, his movement swift, making her almost freeze. Not from fear, just anticipation. His voice seemed a bit tense as he spoke her name, and their gazes locked onto one another. She couldn't look away even if she wanted to, his hands gently but firmly keeping her focus onto him. How easy it was for the world around her to stop when he'd look straight into her eyes, combined with his touch, it felt like her skin was on fire. Zack's gaze was puzzling to her, it felt heavy and like there was a lot of story telling behind them. It was so easy to get lost in them, to be captivated, just like... Just like there in the pit at the concert.
Letting out the softest of hums due to his touch, she let her hands carefully rest onto his chest once he pulled her in closer, firmly saying they aren't going anywhere. "Okay."she murmured in a whisper and offered him a little soft smile, so he'd know she's fine, her body began to relax once more against him. "My life?"Maggie then asked, a tad surprised by his choice of question.
Or maybe that is because she shouldn't really talk about her background as much. That's how she was raised, anyway - keep everything very lowkey, don't let people know who your family is or who your brothers work for. It could put her in grave danger, and her brothers were very paranoid when it came to Maggie. "But if I tell you everything, I might need to kill you."she mused with a chuckle, telling the most cliche quote there is, really. "I --- wouldn't know where to start. My life isn't all that interesting, Zack. It's very routine like, very lowkey. And the older I get, the harder it is. Feels like I'm chained to this kind of life and I can't break free. Maybe I don't know how, or deep down don't want to... but something has to change at some point, right? It can't always be this dark for me."Maggie mused and pushed his wet locks back, the touch soothing, tender. Perhaps she was just afraid to stand up for herself, and go against her brothers wishes. They only want what's best for her, they only wish her well. But they are never around to see this isn't the best for her and she isn't doing as well as they thing. "You, on the other hand, look like an adventurer. Like someone who has interesting stories to tell."Maggie tried to switch the subject and offered him a wide grin.
closed for: @sarawritesx
continued from: here
Guilt burned in the back of his throat as she apologized. She thought that she'd hurt him and apologized for it, but he was the one who'd done something wrong. He was lying to her. That never usually bothered him. He didn't put himself in a position when it would. Asphodel didn't interact with their fans. He wasn't out there talking to anyone as Skotos, and he didn't talk to fans as Zack either. The beauty of their anonymity was the ability to keep to himself, to not be gawked at and to simply be able to exist when he was up in the world above.
But then came Maggie. She was so open with him. She shone so brightly and was unafraid to be vulnerable and trust a stranger. Maggie was just so...good. And he was lying to her. About something that she loved. And she was apologizing to him? She thought she was in the wrong? She was giving him the option to leave their little bubble? "No, you- Maggie-" he moved closer to her again and captured her lovely face in his hands, the face that had enchanted him when he'd been on stage and watched her through his mask. As he looked down at her, he was tempted to just tell her. If he was the only one who'd be affected, he knew that he would. He was so tempted to show her every piece of him. Zack, Skotos, Zagreus- he wanted her to know all of them in that moment, but his choices could affect the rest of the band. He couldn't do that to them.
A part of him wished she would just figure it out.
"You didn't hurt me. Don't apologize. You- Maggie, you did nothing wrong." He shook his head and dropped one hand to her waist to guide her nearer to him again. "We're not going anywhere." This was the closest he'd been able to get to her answer to his question in such a short amount of time. He wanted to get closer though. Maybe he could. "What's your life like? I want to know everything about you."