I Think Oliver Queen Would Find Out Batman's Secret Identity Mostly Through Vibes...

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Clark (as a reporter): Mr. Wayne, have you ever thought of having more children?

Bruce: You mean, adopting?

Clark: Adopting. Abducting. However you got the last four.

Bruce: …

One of the perks of living in Gotham is that occasionally you’ll walk past a Wayne having the most batshit insane conversation anybody has ever had.

Walk past Dick Grayson on the street and hear him say into his phone, “I don’t think he’s anti-vax, but Superman is definitely not vaccinated.”

Stand outside of the downtown WE building and see Tim Drake walk out with his tall friend only to pause and say, “Hold on, I just got the mental image of Lex Luthor pregnant. Thanks for that.”

A lucky few who ride the same subway line as the newest Wayne edition, overheard Duke tell Stephanie that living in Wayne Manor is, “Alright, but when I moved in Jason and Damian gave me a knife and said I had to kill Tim. Said it was tradition.”

“It kinda is. Did you do it?”

“No!” Duke says, to the relief of the overhearers. “Get this…he stabbed himself.”

“…yeah, I should’ve guessed that.”

The downside to living in Gotham is literally everything else.

Fav ship

Similar to this and my comment on it https://www.tumblr.com/demonic0angel/767278181073960960/hmmmmm-how-bout-some-spicy-dannycass?source=share

Danny and Cass enjoying Ollie's chili, much to the horror of everyone except Batman

(LMAOOOO)

Danny and Cass were enjoying their meal, while their siblings were all dying from the heat of Oliver’s chili. Dick and Duke were trying in vain to drink as much water and milk as they could. Stephanie looked like she was about to pass out. Bruce was also at the table, eating at a slow and measured pace. Oliver was beaming, clad in a pink apron and holding a ladle, as he asked, “Do you want seconds?”

Bruce shook his head, blank faced. Damian scowled through the meal, while Jason grimaced, muttering and glaring at Danny and Cass, “How on earth are you two eating this so fast?!”

Cass shrugged, “Not as bad as Sichuan food.” She turned her head and watched Danny eat for a little longer until he noticed her gaze and smiled at her.

“Are you still hungry?” He asked, licking his lips and Cass stared at him deeply before smiling and then nodding, turning back to her meal.

Damian muttered, “If this isn’t enough to make me throw up, that would’ve done it.”

Bruce sighed. “Do any of you want crackers?”

Jason sneered. “What psychopath eats crackers with chili? Better yet— Ollie! Can you get me a hot dog?! I need something worth living for without Jazz around right now.”

Danny perked up, pausing in his eating to hand Cass a napkin and ask, “Wait, where is she?”

Jason coughed from inhaling a pepper and said hoarsely, “I think she and Tim are eating ice cubes in the kitchen right now.”

Dick stood up and sniffled from the heat. “I think I’m going to join them. The rest of you weirdos can finish the meal.” He dragged away Duke and Stephanie, leaving Danny, Cass, and Bruce eating peacefully in the dining room, with Damian and Jason determined to finish their hellish meal.

Oliver complained, “What! Why is everyone always leaving?!” and then went after them to make them try more of his chili.

Danny hummed, nudging Cass. As she turned, he leaned closer and whispered, “They’re pretty weak to heat, huh?”

She hooked their fingers together with a sweet smile. “Not us though.”

A spoon went flying in Danny’s direction, making him dodge with wide eyes.

“Keep your hands off of my sister or this food is going into your eyes, Fenton!”

I think this happened in 'odysseus'

Telemacus: *fighting against the suitors, holding his ground but he's slipping*

Telemacus: *sees ody in the shadows, bow aimed at him and the suitors*

Telemacus: *stops fighting abruptly and goes slack*

Suitor: haha, got him

Ody: finally I can actually shoot my damn bow without hitting my kid

Alfred: Injury report?

26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?

Alfred:

Some years down the road

Bruce: Injury report?

Tim: I left no DNA behind.

Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.

Jason: Haven’t died again.

Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.

Damian: I won.

Duke: I think I discovered a new power.

Steph: You’re not my dad.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?

Bruce and Oliver except they don't have the Sun & Moon dynamic, they have a Sun and it's Shadow one.

The Sun who is always shining, who brings people into it's orbit but always keeps them at a distance. the Sun who, for better or worse, is a burning mass of energy that most will only see as the one to bring light. the Sun that will always cast a shadow for as long as it burns.

And the Shadow of the sun, always behind it no matter what. the Shadows that curl around the stars, and helps paint the night sky. the Shadows that can only be a Shadow so long as the Sun keeps burning, because Shadows without light is just darkness.

My favourite thing about Talia's relationship with the batkids is that for half of them it's nonexistent.

Dick? He was there for all the relationship drama back in the golden days, and he's always been stupidly petty about it. Their rivalry is fun and lighthearted and both of them care about Damian enough to work together even if they'll never be friends.

Jason? An understanding. Kindness for the sake of it, a friendship offered in full knowledge of just how cruel the world can be. Two wary, wounded people tentatively reaching out. She remembers the sweet young boy he used to be. He remembers the time she teamed up with Bruce and Selina to fight the Gotham rogues. So much has changed for both of them, but at least when they look at each other they see that they haven't been damaged alone.

Damian? Her son, and all the complications surrounding that. Her son who was meant to grow up living a normal life and never knowing his biological parents. Her son who instead grew up just like she did, raised in a cult and expected to be the heir. She tried to save him. She failed. He couldn't save her. She killed him. It wasn't her, wasn't her hands, but it was her orders, but it wasn't her mind. They love each other anyways. They're willing to try.

The others? Well there's the other Robin. Timannie or something. Talia is pretty sure he's a boy but he could be a girl? And there's the Batgirls. Sandy or Barbie or The One Who Is All, whatever they're calling themselves nowadays. And the new mentee, Duke! He seems promising. Defeated her father along with Batgirl but Ra's seemed to respect their strength, which is always a good sign.

So basically Jason and Damian receive birthday gifts every year. Bruce receives one when he hasn't been an ass recently. Dick has never received one and never will. Tim, Cass and Duke get a present to share once a year addressed to The Other Child. It's normally some sort of training gear. Cass normally calls dibs. They're all completely fine with this arrangement. It's nice that she made an effort when she really didn't have to.

Ra's sends Bruce and Damian gifts. Occasionally sends Cass and Duke job flyers that they burn. Everyone else gets addressed as Detective because he can't keep track of their names. If Batman wanted Ra's to remember his children he should have colour coded them better. Blue eyes and black hair, he can't even remember which one Talia threw in the pit. He's a busy man with an empire to run and thousands of years of memories! They're all probably Robin, it's fine.

mia, side-eyeing roy’s trucker hat and general appearance: are you a trump supporter now?

oliver, aghast: no he is NOT, i raised him better than that 🙄

roy, equally torn between being offended but also wanting to annoy ollie: maybe i am

*2 hours later*

jason, on the phone: why did ollie just call me to yell about you being out of the will and then dramatically hang up before i could get a word in?

roy: omg i was in the will? 🥺

jason: well not anymore

I think, after No Man's Land was over, Babs was probably the one to go with Cass to get a full doctor's assessment. Bruce probably read through all the files afterwards but Babs was the one sitting in the room with Cass as the doctor explained all the symptoms of malnourishment he could see, the state Cass's teeth and hair were in, the clear signs of trauma she displayed, all the impact almost 10 years of being a homeless child constantly running from her father had on her. And that's before they even got into all the damage done by the years of David Cain's abuse.

Cass wouldn't have really understood what they were saying. Just noticed that the doctor seemed like he wanted to throw up and Babs looked like if he kept talking in another few minutes she would either start crying or get angry. Which is weird because the only thing on screen is a photo of all Cass's leg scars and she doesn't get the horror. Yeah he shot her when she was six yeah that wound got reopened infected when she was nine and on the run and became an even nastier scar after months of pain. She survived and none of it made her a worse fighter so who cares.

I think Babs, looking at this teenager who's now living with her, under her care, so unbothered staring at an x-ray of her skull with visible thickness in certain places where the bone clearly had to heal over large cracks, would feel the weight of a life in her hands in a way she never had before. And it would terrify her.

okay so post epic odyssey where odysseus and Penelope have surfaced from their room finally and he and diomedes are catching up I'm imagining the conversation going something like this

Odysseus: so then I gave up being merciful and became the monster.

Diomedes:....you tried being merciful?

Odysseus: Yes?

Diomedes: you did? You tried being a good merciful person? You?

Odysseus: Yah okay fuck off it was polties dying wish. I had to try.

Diomedes:.....90% of the war crimes in the Trojan war were suggested, planned out, and carried out by you. We literally stoned to death the guy you had a personal grudge against. We framed him for treason and stoned him to death. 70% of why Athena liked you was because she thought she knew all the ways to kill someone and then you'd suggest something insane and I'd see her taking notes. You literally gave Ajex a psyoctic break just being yourself.

Odysseus: shut up

Diomedes: I'm not wrong. Did you tell Penelope about your attempt to be a good person?

Odysseus: What? Of course I did. I told her everything.

Diomedes: did she laugh?

Odysseus:...shut up that's not the point

Diomedes: she did didn't she!!!

Odysseus: ANYWAY eurylochus wasn't appreciative of my return to monsterhood and he started causing problems so I

Diomedes: killed him? Yah saw that coming. No shit. I'm so shocked.