We Don’t Appreciate The Fact That Bruce Wayne Is A Kardasian Level Celebrity Enough. Everyone Knows

What are the weirdest things Jason stole from the Batcave?

Kryptonite

The bat-plane's landing gear

The Discowing suit

A 5-foot-tall painting of Titus as a revolutionary hero

The Batcomputer's hard drive

Duke's sandwich

50 gallons of kerosene

Roy's trick arrows that Bruce confiscated

The dinosaur

The giant penny

An industrial sandblaster

The Batmobile's tires

Cass's pre-workout snacks

The ice cream Bernard left in the fridge for Tim

The bat-canoe

Black Mask's full criminal record

His own autopsy report

Bat-Cow

DC Social Media Part 3

Captain Cold Explains The Flashes

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Bonus, Barry has some thoughts:

Keep reading

Roy Harper: *recording* so someone told me non-binary people don't exist but I found this in my closet

Jason Todd Currently in Roys Closet: I LIke bread

Why am I the funniest at the buttfuck of dawn??

Price doing those embarrassingly gritty, try-hard ThruDark adverts for a bit of extra cash, which is all fine because most of it is faceless with voice overs, and then he happens to do the Price Toe Bounce™ at the end of one, and Ghost is in his office the next morning after it appears on his Instagram feed.

He places his phone down before his captain, hands flat on the desk, staring at Price as he watches the advert. With the exclusion of Laswell and Nikolai, no other man alive would spot the flicker over Price's face as he realises he's been made. Ghost smirks beneath his bally when he sees it.

"What'll it take?" Price asks, opening negotiations.

"Bottle of bourbon, wearin' Man City colours next game day and first dibs on the next kit haul."

"Ask me for a sexual favour, be less humiliatin'."

"Well, I can always send this t' Johnny, whole base'll have it by evenin' debrief."

"Fine, terms agreed. Out."

Ghost picks up his phone and hesitates. "That sexual favour still on th--?"

"Get the fuck out my office, lieutenant."

"Sir."

Very few people get to hear genuine amusement in Simon's voice. Price is one of those few.

I want Bruce to take care of the JL members like they're his children.

I want him to always make sure the kitchen at the watchtower is stocked with a variety of their favorite foods (especially sweets ans the like).

He'll also make sure everyone's quarters are perfectly tailored to their needs.

Like, when Flash mentions running cold after a stressful mission because he's burnt so many calories and it takes a while for his body to warm up again even if he starts eating immediately, fluffy blankets suddenly appear in his room and the temperature mysteriously rises whenever they've been out.

Clark once complains about the hum of the machinery keeping him from rest and the next time he's at the watchtower his room has been soundproofed, but with the option to turn it off in case he wants to listen out for what's happening on earth or something.

Bruce also makes sure to herd everyone to the medbay for a check-up after missions where he hovers and he behaves like a fierce mama bear. When a member returns to the field too early he'll full-on lecture them in front of everyone and there are several videos of this on social media.

Bruce does this for everyone. But some people (like Clark) get special attention, which means this behavior extends to their civilian life. So every once in a while, when Clark's had a bad day, a lunch delivery will arrive at his desk, containing his favorite meal, or something will break in his apartment (like his dishwasher that one time) but he has to get to work and doesn't have time to take care of it right then. It turns out he does have to. When he gets home, everything's fixed.

What would Queering the Map look like in the DC Universe

For those of you that don't know, Queering the Map is basically this website where people can add pinpoints on a map with their different queer experiences. It's really cool, I suggest checking it out (unless you hate The Gays, in which case feel free to unfollow me).

Now, for the headcanons:

"Went to a baseball game for our third date. We ended up on the jumbotron. Some people booed us. I think it's 'cause I wore a Gotham jersey and she had a Metropolis hat. A modern-day Romeo and Juliet."

"Drag storytime here, every Thursday from 5:30 to 7"

"sometimes love is kidnapping a nepo baby with your two polyamorous boyfriends"

"Did it with another Arkham inmate, 5/10"

"According to my grandfather, who trained me to wield a sword from the moment I could walk, I'm 'too young' to know who I am."

"Themiscyra more like Lesbos 2 amirite"

"I have a crush on a boy in my class but every time I ask him to hang out he tells me he's busy. I know he doesn't do any after-school clubs and he doesn't need a part-time job because he's rich as hell. I have my conspiracy theories. Let's see how they pan out."

"@ Ollie Queen I screwed your son in your office"

"On this street corner, I got so nervous talking to the cute food truck worker that I puked in a trash can. I am 42 years old."

"Don't forget about us in Kahndaq!"

"Smallville boys sure love them cornfields"

"I put the bi in billionaire"

"me-wow ;)"

"It's Sunday morning. My wife and I slept in after a wild time last night. I woke up first so I surprised her with her favorite breakfast and used the food scraps to make compost cupcakes for her plants. Then she kissed me and showed me a funny video because she knows I love wild dogs, and it makes everything I've put up with worth it. Some folks will see this and still call us the villains. If that's the case, I don't wanna be a hero."

"I know where I'd put my Lantern ring ( ͡ ° ل͜ ͡°)"

"No GCPD at Pride"

"I no longer live in England but I had my fair share of adventures back in the day. We have always been here and we always will be."

"first kiss here, tasted like waffles"

"Hey Lex I can be your sugar baby i mean henchman"

"I can run from Keystone to Bludhaven in five seconds flat but it doesn't matter because he'll never see me the way I see him"

"I transed the fish. Signed, an Atlantean"

"Wanna match butts?"

Soldier: Calling my superiors by their legal names! _

Soldier: Sup, John Price, staring at him: Don't do that Soldier: ... I'm sorry _ Soldier: How's it going, Kyle? Gaz: Oh I don't like that. Mm, no, sure do not Soldier, laughing: Something wrong, Kyle? Gaz: No no- no likey Soldier: *laughs* _ Soldier: Hey, John, can you sign this doc for me? Soap: Sure- No. No absolutely not Soldier: Please, Johnny- Soap: NO _ Soldier: Hey, Simon, can- Ghost: THE FUCK YOU CALL ME?? Soldier: I'M SORRY Ghost: I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING AT ALL TIMES Soldier: I'M SORRY I'M SORRY- _ (bonus) Soldier: Hey, Kate Laswell: *stops walking and swivels her head around to stare* Soldier: ... This is scarier than LT yelling at me

Who is gonna tell him?

If you could live in one DC city, which one would you choose? Star City? Central City? Metropolis? Gotham? Or a different one?

All of them have their pros and cons

Star City

- Pros: the Arrowfam

- Cons: Ollie's chili

Central City/Keystone

- Pros: more mentally stable Rogues gallery

- Cons: the Midwest

Metropolis

- Pros: not Gotham

- Cons: gotta buy a new car every week the way they get thrown through your office

Smallville

- Pros: Kon

- Cons: corn

Gotham

- Pros: grunge vibes

- Cons: Gotham