Latest Posts by crispysnewblog - Page 4

A babysitter's guide to the bats: by Jason Todd

If, for any reason, I am not in Gotham, here's what you will need to know to keep the local bat population from killing themselves off.

Tim has to be fed and watered daily.

Do not leave Cass alone for more than 36 hours, you might find half the world's governments systematically dispatched if you do.

Damian needs to be hugged at least once every two days. He will not ask for these hugs, but Robin starts getting real close to murder if he doesn't get affection, and a murdery Robin is something Bruce and Tim cannot deal with right now.

Bruce can hypothetically take care of himself, but won't unless it's easy. Make sure the cave is stocked up on energy bars and protein shakes. He likes dark chocolate best.

Do not let Dick forget to sleep. He gets acrobat-y when tired, and if he breaks one more chandelier Alfred might actually quit.

Cass forgets to eat real food sometimes. She can no longer survive off tree bark, but will try anyway. Leave some blackberries outside her room or on the bench below the maple tree in the back and she will eat those instead.

Make sure Steph spends time with Alfred. They both get lonely without their bi-weekly tea and gossip hour.

DO NOT LET DUKE RUN MISSIONS. HE FORGETS THAT THE REST OF THE TEAM IS MORTAL.

Keep an eye on Babs, she has the means to dismantle every intelligence agency in the U.S. and is very close to finding a motive.

Sometimes Bruce and Tim forget that they run a company. Make sure they read their emails every once in a while, the board is ruthless and can smell weakness.

Tim is allergic to walnuts. He doesn't remember this. There is an EpiPen in the hall closet.

The no-metas-in-Gotham rule does not extend to Diana Prince. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. You couldn't actually get rid of her if you tried. There is no Wonder Woman contingency plan. Don't look for it.

Titus has to be fed while Damian is at school.

Always make sure Red Robin has his third backup rebreather. He's recently decided he has a death wish.

Batcow is NOT allowed in the manor. If Damian tries to convince you she is, he is lying.

Selina will try to kidnap Damian or Tim. Let her, unless it's both at the same time.

If something smells like smoke, do not investigate on your own.

Do not let Duke drag you into a parkour contest. You will lose your dignity and maybe a finger.

If Tim falls asleep anywhere but the couch or his bed, wake him. We're trying to train his subconscious into taking care of him.

Bruce needs two hours of sunlight a day. The easiest way to trick him into it is getting Tim to play catch with him. It triggers his dad instincts.

Never agree to play hide and seek with Cass. You will never find her.

If Steph come to collect Damian for "an ice cream date," she knows something you don't. Her big sister intuition is flawless. Send him with a couple hundred in cash and a can of mace.

The rest of the family:

Steph | Tim | Babs | Cass | Bruce | Duke | Dick | Damian

Jason, in full Red Hood gear: Hey mom, can I borrow one of those new Thanagarian guns you guys got?

Diana: Sure, sweetie.

The rest of the League:

Bruce: *sighs*

The rest of the League:

The rest of the League:

Hal: wtf

Clark never felt pain until after he became Superman.

i watched an animation with this audio but monty was the one who speak spanish, i thought that it'll look better with El Chip instead of Monty cause he's mexican

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

Hey there! So yeah more ideas I guess lol!

*In High School*

Dick: The pretty student council president who’s dating the hot captain of the track team.

Jason: The insanely hot ass bad boy who’s dating the even hotter captain of the archery club.

Tim: The introverted coffee addicted shy boy who’s dating the extroverted punk rock jock.

Damian: The walking definition of Satan’s spawn who’s dating the adorably bubbly country boy.

Barbara: The drop dead gorgeous genius who’s dating the schools newspaper’s editor in chief.

Stephanie: The bad ass cheerleader who can kick ass if she wants cuz she’s more then just a pretty face.

Cassandra: The rebel teachers fear her students wanna be her really she just vibing and gives no fucks.

Feel free to reblog/like!

Give me Frozen

but make Elsa Jason Todd

Ana; Dick Grayson

and Hanz; Slade Wilson

Hey giys this will be the last post i make from this account. Unfourtanatly i am getting a new phone and i dont have any logins for this account as it was linked to my old email adress i no longer have access to. I will be making a new account when the new phone is set up and will reblog this so you can find my new blog. xx