I Can’t Speak To Him Without Frustrating Him. I Feel Like He Absolutely Hates Me At Times. I Really

Facts

“A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.”

— Marilyn Monroe

Had to repost this

“Don’t take my advice. Or anyone’s advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it’s your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you.”

— Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me (via meineluft)

So true!!

“There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.”

— Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice (via resqectable)

So, I’m thinking that things with my husband are always gonna go the same path, no matter how much I work on myself or how much I change up things I do…. I always fall into thinking that we are doing better, and he’s actually not talking to me like shit daily, that he actually wants me around, then bam, I get hit with reality. We are home and he’s in his building like always and I’m in my room/0ffice/closet, whatever, and he is texting a friend asking him to go to the bar…. Damn if we’re doing well, and I’m home doing nothing special and so is he, then why would he texting friends asking if they want to hit up a bar, which would probably end up being Hooters which is absolutely fine, it’s not like that’s the part that bothers me. We are at the house a lot together, but we never talk, hang out or for the most part even eat together. This is not the way I want my relationship to be anymore, I want to be with someone that has time to do whatever periodically, and wants to do things with me. Not go drink with friends. If we spent time together, actually in one another’s company, then I wouldn’t care if he ran off with a buddy every now and then, I don’t want to spend 24/7 with him, I’m not a controlling person, I guess call me needy, I just want to feel wanted from time to time, Or ever. Right now I feel like I am dropping everything for him to do whatever he wants or needs me to do, slacking on my work and responsibilities, worrying about shit like how bad I’ve got to get an oil change, reminding myself that I need to put a little antifreeze In here, is my tire pumped up, and so on, when just for the simple fact that I am his wife, and knowing that I’m using my moms car, the circumstances as to why, he should have already at least attempted to help me with or get the vehicle things accomplished. It’s always 99 % of the time about himself, and tbh, I have no guarantees that anything that helps him or benefits him, does anything for me at all. I know of many times him coming in to money or him winning money, and we were together, well I’d be lucky if I ever knew period. It’s only gotten worse than better so wtf is wrong with me, then the minute I get myself to a point to be able to let go, he’s automatically totally different and makes me think it’s gonna different and I automatically feel guilty and like if I leave or ask him to go then Im wrong. I’ve always heard that ex’s are ex’s for a reason….. what is really the worst part of it all is that I am not brand new. I know what reality is, I just always think that it’s gonna be better….

Damn...

“Maybe you weren’t the one for me, but deep down I wanted you to be.”

— Khalid; Coaster (via perfeqt)

Haven’t posted in a while, my life is so hectic right now. And I saw him today, 6 months of nothing then outta the blue he messaged me, I think we have a bond because we both got hurt around the same time and we held one another together. I don’t fully understand why it went the way it did….. I’m just glad to have you back in my life….. maybe we can help one another again!!!

How can your heart get broken, yet you’re so happy for the situation, because it’s the right way to be and because you know it will make the person happy in the long run.... I may be loosing the closest person I have in my life, but this person that I’m loosing is gaining so much more than I could ever be for them.... I guess that is what people mean by, bittersweet....

Wow nice to know that there are other like me....