It's Almost Funny, Sometimes When I Look In The Mirror, I Feel Like I'm Surprised By Who I See

3, 4, 9, 16! :D - Alex

Thank you very much for the ask!

3 - How long have you known you were otherkin?

That's honestly a little difficult to answer; I think I've known on some level for around 7-8 years now, but never accepted myself until the last year or so, when I made a complete turnaround and not only got myself involved in the idea of psychological kin, but spiritual as well. It's been quite a long journey, especially in the middle of those 7-8 years when the concept wasn't even in my mind, but I'm glad to finally seek self-acceptance. 7-8 years on a larger scale, but for me to acknowledge that I knew and to work with it? 2 or so years.

4 - What reminds you of home?

Difficult to say as my kin runs more psychological than spiritual, but I gave this one some thought and feel I have a few answers! Some smaller things in my daily life give me little reminders, my stacks of books marking that the desire for reading and learning never quite left. Scents are also big for me! I have a few candles and some incense on my altar, with the more subtle scents tugging at me a bit more.

Larger feelings, unsurprisingly, come from the replicated shirt and wings I've made. I've worn the shirt publicly multiple times, but the wings stay firmly on my wall. I have a pair of antennae I made as well and while I haven't worn those nearly as much, part of me strongly wants to wear them at least once to see if I feel comfortable with them.

The strongest feelings come from things I don't have control over at all. There are certain ways the clouds roll in that make me recall flight and certain songs that evoke strong responses from me, both positive and negative (and I do plan to post at least two playlists with the songs that do this). Looking over royal architecture is one of the strongest, feeling so small in such large, ostentatious halls, more than anything wanting to find myself pacing them again.

Overall, I suppose, in a sense, "home" is less a location and more of a concept for me.

9 - What was your first kintype?

Difficult to say! The only one I can think of would be the M.ettaton from the Und.erfell AU of Un.dertale; that was the first time I ever considered the idea that I might be otherkin, but never pursued the concept any further, just eyeing it with wary curiosity. Interestingly, while that linkage was definitely a work of projection and trauma response, so is my current kintype; the difference is in how intensely I experience this current type vs how loosely I interacted with the previous one. I'm not sure if I would call it a kintype, honestly.

16 - What are some challenges that you face with being otherkin?

The biggest ones were the ones imposed by myself! One of the biggest initial hurdles was that accepting my kin identity made me feel like I was losing touch with reality. Truth be told, my awakening to my identity happened through intense dissociative experiences I fought to pathologize - my therapist was the one who suggested I take a step back and look at it in a more spiritual light (so as not to condemn myself for my experiences). I still believe I may be experiencing a form of multiplicity, but the experiences are no longer intense and distressing; I no longer feel strongly disconnected when I have shifts.

I suppose another is simply existing as is - as someone in the otherkin community, a community which has been highly mocked in the past, the mocking being the first thing people likely think of when they hear the word. It made me want to cringe at myself, but being part of several other groups that tend to be stigmatized - autistic, trans, amongst other things - helped me begin to move beyond that. I still hold fear over what others may think of me, but at the end of the day, my behavior isn't harmful and it makes me happy, so I'm willing to be more open about it.

More current challenges? I would say incorporating my identity into my more daily life. I do use the name Shai in my day to day, and went through the two-hour process of getting a tattoo of the wings I no longer possess, but part of me very much wants to go further. It's difficult, being a feminine trans man with butterfly accessories, but I would consider it to be the price I pay to feel more at home - the people closest to me know I am a man at the very least.

I can rank all 3 of them based on their opinions to fucking around, which are "can you stop fucking around", "can you please keep fucking around", and "fuck around and find out (cheerful and affectionate)"

Night Scene at Sumida River   -    Kobayashi Kiyochika , 1930.

Japanese ,  1847-1915

Woodblock, 10 1/8 x 7 ½ in.

I am beginning to legitimately consider discussing this with very trusted people in my life because this is a large part of my identity and I feel it would allow me to feel more understood, especially because this has been such a large piece of my trauma recovery

hello and welcome... to binarystarcare !

this is a (newly formed) kinhelp style blog catering to otherkin, fictionkin, factkin, and system members ! were open to any sources and dont have many blacklisted things ^-^ this blog is run by (currently) two mods - mod hunter and mod ranboo! we both offer different things - such as aesthetics, tarot and oracle readings, and stimboards !

all request info - and more mod info - can be found on our carrd !!

(ps this post is also serving as a promo post - please reblog this if you wanna help us out ^-^)

Almost funny in a sense that all my chronic illnesses are showing symptoms that look similar to butterfly traits.

I have POTS, for sure, I self-tested with my blood pressure cuff and laying down, I had a heart rate of 71 bpm, while standing brought it up to 134. That's a 63 bpm difference, when only 30 is necessary for a diagnosis. I still need it officially documented so I can request accommodations and whatnot, but you know what else is a sign of POTS? Inability to regulate body temperature. I'm often cold and need to either layer clothing or sit in sunlight to help warm myself up.

Notably, a trait seen in insects.

POTS symptoms, specifically the heart ones, are eased with the addition of lots of water and extra salt into your diet. I would consider that to be nothing short of a miracle cure ("cure" loosely used).

Interestingly, butterflies need to supplement salt in their diets due to nectar not providing it, leading to behavior called "puddling", because they're usually seen feeding from mud puddles, though tears and blood and other sources also provide the necessary sodium.

Lately, I've also been noticing a flare up in my stomach issues; I'm thought to potentially have gastroparesis, with my main issues being that I have stomachaches after nearly every meal, as well as losing my appetite early into meals. I'll be picking up some soups and broths tomorrow to try and get myself to eat something, going for an almost entirely liquid diet.

Do you know what else famously has a liquid diet?

My options are almost equally as funny - either a fictive in an incredibly indistinct system, or a psychological and spiritual kin in a harmonized setting.

Either way, I am here and he is here, and that doesn't seem as though it will change any time soon.

I've registered for othercon; actually genuinely excited to see what the community is like, given how little interaction I've had with it thus far 💖

Zamarada Geometer Moth (Zamarada sp.), family Geometridae, Bukit Lawang, North Sumatra, Indonesia

photograph by Nicky Bay