I Can’t Do Anything Right. Not A Single Thing.

Now who’s gonna tell me why I be looking bmi 20+ when im in the low 18-high 17 range 😒😒

RAHHH I’ve only gotten 10k steps today but I’m so tireddd I need some motivation

I see nothing but fat when I look at the mirror

I think my scales broken or something cause I weighed myself this morning and it said I’m 51.8kg but istg I look fatter than I did a couple days ago when I weighed the same amount before I binged.

Introduction

ׂ╰┈➤ Hello! My name is Kassidy / Kas and I use they/them pronouns.

I restrict / binge and purge through laxatives.

I’ve been lurking for a couple years now on and off, too afraid to post anything due to the fact I am undiagnosed.

I have been engaging is disordered eating behaviours for many years now, but feel uncomfortable labelling myself as having an eating disorder or anorexia until I’ve lost enough weight to get diagnosed. (Imposter syndrome be damned).

I want to use this blog now to connect with other disordered people as the loneliness that comes with these behaviours has become unbearable, and document said behaviours and progress as I work towards reaching my ugw.

Mutuals are welcomed and encouraged, and DM’s are always open <3

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I am sixteen (08) and 170cm.

Current weight: 53kg (bmi 18.3)

Goal weight 1: 48kg (bmi 16.6)

Goal weight 2: 42kg (bmi 14.5)

Ultimate Goal weight: 38kg (bmi 13.1)

Block don’t report please!!

Got a sugar free drink instead of the 300 calorie one I wanted #miserablebutlockedin

I’m never going to recover, it’s too late now. I’m just gonna be stuck in a binge restrict cycle for the rest of my life, I know it.

I’ve got some social outings planned this week and I’m shitting bricks, I’m hanging out with my friend tomorrow arvo which I’m not too concerned about because I can just make believable excuses but I’m having a 2 night sleepover with my best friend and I have no idea how I’m gonna restrict without it causing red flags (they know about my disordered behaviours) but I refuse to binge again or eat over my cal limit so if anyone has any ideas for excuses or ways to discreetly get rid of food they would be greatly appreciated 🙏🙏

Update on the sushi situation from last night, I did end up eating it and something else which I deeply regret although if my calculations were right with the sushi I did stay under 500 cals. I hate how easily I gave into desire, I feel like I have no discipline whatsoever. To make up for breaking my fast early I’m going to fast for the entire weekend and maybe Monday, and work out even harder. God I hate myself.

Y’all I can’t believe it I’m only 1.2kg away from my gw, ITS SO CLOSE I COULD VERY WELL BE AT MY GW BY EARLY NEXT WEEK WHAT