kickedbythevoid

Latest Posts by kickedbythevoid

Genuinely debating if I should try and kms tonight to get out of work tmr because I cannot do 6 and a half hours in that hell, if I don’t does anyone else have any ideas?

Just weighed myself for the first time since Sunday and apparently I weigh 0.1kg less than I did before I binged. Honestly I think my scale might be broken, or skinny fat has just got me in a crazy chokehold because I look way too fat to be BMI 16.3

Broke my fast with an egg and slice of toast, the guilt is low-key killing me but I’m walking it off tonight at work + I’m gonna take 25 lax.

Day 3 of fasting, feeling too depressed to get my steps in yet again so I’m just gonna keep going and I’ll break it tmr afternoon maybe

It just hit me that I don’t want recovery, I just want to be happy.

And I know that recovery won’t change anything, eating won’t cure me of my depression so what’s the point. I don’t know how to feel now to be honest, I’ve romanticised getting sick enough to recover for so long because I thought it would bring that happiness but it won’t so now I don’t know what to do. I think that’s why I’ve been so suicidal lately, because I know deep down I’m just gonna be miserable forever no matter what I do so what’s the point in living at all.

Too depressed to get all my steps in today so I’m just gonna continue my fast, it’s not like I deserve to eat after binging so much over the weekend anyways

I’m never going to recover, it’s too late now. I’m just gonna be stuck in a binge restrict cycle for the rest of my life, I know it.

Oh fuck oh no oh no oh no purging isn’t working nothings coming up fuck fuck fuck

hate my mental health class in school because it immediately turns into a who’s the sickest competition someone fucking end me

Planned to b/p today but I literally have no desire to eat why am I kind of disappointed

I think I’m gonna start cutting my intake from 500 to 300 because the food guilt is becoming too much and I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough towards reaching my ugw.

Just broke my fast and I regret it so much, I feel sick why do I do this to myself

Just woke up and weighed in at 47.7kg, .2kg under my goal weight. I know I should be excited but I’m not, I feel indifferent. In fact, I feel more fat than ever.

My next GW is 45kg.

the silence after hitting your gw but still feeling so big and disgusting

Just took 25 laxatives even though the last time I took this much at once I ended up passed out on the floor with the worst stomach pain of my life, but I’m not taking any chances of maintaining for any longer.

Pray for me y’all 🙏🙏

I miss having energy I miss having a life but Im worried that even if I recover life will still feel meaningless and I’ll just end up fat doing absolutely nothing. Like my only goal in life right now is to lose weight, it feels like I will have nothing if I stop restricting.

Kind of debating raising my intake to 800 every couple days just so I can start getting some more protein in because I’m averaging like 10g at best but idk I hate change

BRO WHY DID I HAVE TO START MAINTAINING LITERALLY 0.2KG AWAY FROM MY GW WHAT THE FREAK I LITERALLY FASTED YESTERDAY AND STILL MAINTAINED

Got a sugar free drink instead of the 300 calorie one I wanted #miserablebutlockedin

Crazily enough I’m actually not having fun, I don’t like the stomach pain I don’t like the constantly feeling like you’re going to faint I don’t like not being able to enjoy meals I don’t like to sit with my less than child size portion of shit I don’t even really like while everyone else around me has a full plate of actually nice food I don’t like that I can’t eat normally without becoming stressed and pvrging

I hate this shit and I fucking want out anyone acting like an st4rving is fun and great and they love it is on a crazy amount of cope all day every day it’s all about food constantly trying to find ways to distract myself from it cut down on it I fucking hate it and it’s all for nothing being skinny won’t fix my shitty fucked up life

I used to love baking before I relapsed, I really miss it. Hopefully one day, if I finally get sick enough to deserve recovery, I can start doing it again.

Only .5kg away from my GW, and I actually think I’m gonna reach it this time considering besides the general temptations here and there I have no intention of binging.

My plan was to get my nails done to celebrate reaching my GW but I have to save my money, so if anyone has any other free/cheap reward ideas lmk !! 🫶

Broke my fast even though I wasn’t hungry, gave up 2 seconds into my workout and found out that due to binging and being a lazy fuck like I am tonight losertown estimates I’ll be at my ugw on the 10th of July, a whole month later than I had planned to reach it.

I want to die, I am constantly miserable and everyday I get closer and closer to genuinely just killing myself because I can’t take this. I hate my body and I hate my mind, I hate myself.

WHY IS EVERYOJE SUDDENKY NON STOP TALKIJG ABOUT FOOD SHUT THR FUCK UP I BEG OF YOU

I’m actually losing my mind somebody sedate me

Guys strap me down because the binge urges are urging

Oh.my.god.

The ice cream I’ve been including in my meal plan is 170 calories each, I thought they were 120 each. I’ve been eating 500, not 450. I know it doesn’t seem like much of a difference but oh my god I’m freaking out I can’t do this.

My local shop not only restocked all my favourite binge food but also put it all on sale #godgiveshistoughestbattlestohisstrongestsoldiers

I’m so tired, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I COULD BEEN AT MY GOAL WEIGHT BY NOW IF I JUST DIDNT FUCKING EATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT