Just Weighed Myself For The First Time Since Sunday And Apparently I Weigh 0.1kg Less Than I Did Before

I’m switching up one of my meals and oh my god I’m shaking I’m so stressed because it’s not pre packaged and I don’t have a food scale at the moment so I’ll have to estimate/use other more unreliable measuring tools and I’ve never had it before so it might be ass but it’s so expensive and I’d feel bad for wasting it AHHHHH

I’m so tired, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

Currently have consumed roughly 400 cals today and my god are the binge urges killing me, I’ve also only took 10,000 steps so I am not in a negative net sadly.

Gonna take like 10+ lax then try and just go to sleep early, hopefully tomorrow will be a much more productive day !!

My laxatives didn’t work because I took less than my tolerance so I have to wait until tomorrow to weigh myself now😔

Also I’m so mad at myself I was blessed with such a good day yesterday like I had the energy to get my 20k steps and wasn’t hungry at all but I still decided to eat and not take it as an opportunity to fast RAHHH

Whatever, today I’m not feeling great and don’t have a lot of energy so I’m just gonna try get my 10-15k steps and liquid fast.

I binged again, to no ones surprise. I’m such a failure, not just at this but at everything in my life, this is just making me realise that more than I usually would I guess. I don’t think fasting is gonna work out for me, I have too much of a mental block from it right now so I think I’ll just go back to 400 cals a day and progressively increase the intermittent fasting hours if that makes sense. I don’t even know, I’m just itching for some sort of control, a way to prove to myself that I can do something right.

Ladies and gentlemen I am absoloutely thrilled to let y’all know I’ve made it back to my pre binge weight CAN I HEAR A ROUND OF APPLAUSE

My body disgusts me I feel so disgusting I feel the fat suffocating me and I keep feeding it I hate myself so much I can’t take this anymore

I want to up my intake to 800 a couple days a week so I can speed up my metabolism and get more protein in but I did it today and I feel horrible and out of control and like I’m going to gain so much weight. I don’t know how or if I’m going to be able to do it to be honest, and even worse, I’m having a big sleepover with my friends this weekend and I’m sure there will be so much food. I want to cry, I can’t do this, why can’t this weight just get the fuck off of me already.

Why does the scale say I’m losing weight when I still look like a whale????😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

STUPID BMI CALCULATOR KEEPS TELLING ME IM HEALTHY