Broke My Fast With An Egg And Slice Of Toast, The Guilt Is Low-key Killing Me But I’m Walking It Off

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

It just hit me that I don’t want recovery, I just want to be happy.

And I know that recovery won’t change anything, eating won’t cure me of my depression so what’s the point. I don’t know how to feel now to be honest, I’ve romanticised getting sick enough to recover for so long because I thought it would bring that happiness but it won’t so now I don’t know what to do. I think that’s why I’ve been so suicidal lately, because I know deep down I’m just gonna be miserable forever no matter what I do so what’s the point in living at all.

Only .5kg away from my GW, and I actually think I’m gonna reach it this time considering besides the general temptations here and there I have no intention of binging.

My plan was to get my nails done to celebrate reaching my GW but I have to save my money, so if anyone has any other free/cheap reward ideas lmk !! 🫶

Broke my fast even though I wasn’t hungry, gave up 2 seconds into my workout and found out that due to binging and being a lazy fuck like I am tonight losertown estimates I’ll be at my ugw on the 10th of July, a whole month later than I had planned to reach it.

I want to die, I am constantly miserable and everyday I get closer and closer to genuinely just killing myself because I can’t take this. I hate my body and I hate my mind, I hate myself.

I just spent 30 minutes crying in the grocery store pacing between 2 aisles because I got overwhelmed by tbe calories of everything. I feel so humiliated, I didn’t even get what I wanted I just grabbed the closest safe food (which literally has almost the exact same amount of calories in it as what I had planned on getting) and got the fuck out of there.

From here on out I’m only getting food online I’m never stepping into a grocery store again.

Why the fuck didn’t I just go to sleep I had a mini binge on fucking noodles and mini Easter eggs now I’m at roughly 800 cals for the day and I just want more

Ate way over my calorie limit today so I will be taking half a box of laxatives I cannot gain again

I’m so pathetic I can’t believe I’m crying over bread, my mum chucked it out without telling me so now I can’t have what I was planning to eat and I can’t eat any other type of bread and I can’t eat past 3:30 (literally right this minute) so now my whole plans changed. I’m not even hungry but I have work and I always eat before work and now I can’t and everything feels so out of control.

Alright guys fess up who cursed me cause tell me why I’ve gone from having a borderline addiction to walking and getting 20k+ steps a day to absolutely dreading it and barely passing 10k

Just weighed myself for the first time since Sunday and apparently I weigh 0.1kg less than I did before I binged. Honestly I think my scale might be broken, or skinny fat has just got me in a crazy chokehold because I look way too fat to be BMI 16.3