Managed To Shoot All The Way From 50.7kg To 51.5 Overnight, I Feel So Discouraged. I’m Never Binging

Just broke my fast and I regret it so much, I feel sick why do I do this to myself

Ive lost all my thoughts

BRO WHY DID I HAVE TO START MAINTAINING LITERALLY 0.2KG AWAY FROM MY GW WHAT THE FREAK I LITERALLY FASTED YESTERDAY AND STILL MAINTAINED

I COULD BEEN AT MY GOAL WEIGHT BY NOW IF I JUST DIDNT FUCKING EATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Binged really bad yesterday, was only able to purge like under a quarter of it up before my throat began to burn too much so I took a little more than 15 laxatives I think. I feel and look so disgusting, the binge wasn’t even enjoyable. I want to water fast for the next 3 days to clear my system, but theres this voice inside my head that keeps trying to get me to binge again “it’s only 1 more day” “you still have food left in the freezer you can binge on, you don’t want to waste it after spending so much money on it do you” “you can just purge it out” “if you don’t binge now you not be able to ever again” and bullshit like that. I’m not even hungry, I’m still sickly full despite purging and digesting most of it, but I just want to eat.

Binging will be the death of me, if not by physically causing me to have a heart attack then most definitely by making me kill myself.

Just saw a body check of my stomach from the morning before the binge episode I was so skinny I’m going to fucking end it why did I have to go anf ruin it

Does anyone have any tips on what to do after a huge painful binge besides purging/taking laxatives and walking/exercising? I’m specifically looking for ways to debloat / minimise the discomfort and ways to feel better emotionally.

Also if anyone has any ideas on how to prevent future binges triggered by hanging out with friends, that would be greatly appreciated !!

My body disgusts me I feel so disgusting I feel the fat suffocating me and I keep feeding it I hate myself so much I can’t take this anymore

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I don’t want to go to work I just wanna sleeep ☹️☹️