I Hate Food I Hate My Brain Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Food I Can’t Do This I Can’t Control

There is so much I want to eat but changing my OMAD routine feels so scary ☹️

Guys fhis is a new low, not only did I spend yesterday and today binging because I was with my friend but when I tried to purge it up just now I missed the toilet bowl and projectile vomited all over my bathroom (didn’t even get much up anyways so it was a waste of time).

I’m so done, I don’t even know what to do at this point I’m just so ashamed. I want this all to stop I want someone to help me but I can’t bring myself to ask for help because I’m too fat and not sick enough to warrant even needing any help. My only hope is death, but I don’t want to die fat, but I can’t keep living like this.

My family just told me that we are moving back down to my hometown in June. I’m so upset Ive worked so hard to establish my life and support system up here and now I’m going to lose it all, and there is barely any mental health services back there. I am now even more determined to lose enough weight to be hospitalised within the next 3 months so I can stay here longer. They can’t take me back, I won’t let them.

Just woke up and weighed in at 47.7kg, .2kg under my goal weight. I know I should be excited but I’m not, I feel indifferent. In fact, I feel more fat than ever.

My next GW is 45kg.

omfg just wasted 100 cals on an unfulfilling bland as wrap I’m gonna lose it this is why I stick to my OMAD routine

BMI 17.4 but I look the same if not fatter than I did at BMI 19 when will this suffering end 😔

Now who’s gonna tell me why I be looking bmi 20+ when im in the low 18-high 17 range 😒😒

while i am very pro-recovery, i am also very very pro bodily autonomy. many people don't get to make all the choices in their life that they wanna make. forcing someone to lose their connections (maybe like getting their acc t3rmlnat3d here) or irl, forcing someone to recover oftentimes doesn't help anyone.

instead of trying to isolate someone from a space where they feel safe, maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you feel so strongly? why do you think t3rmlnatlng an account will help anyone? @n@ **IS** a disorder. terming an account won't magically get rid of that. will making someone start a new account and start over in finding community and comfort do anyone any good?

that isn't harm reduction. i see harm reduction posts EVERYDAY in this community. sharing what supplements/vitamins, sharing healthy low c@l recipes that still give people their nutrients they need, haircare/skincare tips, etc.

i urge people who chronically try to isolate people from what an individual feels helps them, to just think for a minute about what your clear objective is.

also, to the @n@ community; PLEASE try to pay attention to selfcare/harm reduction tips that you may stumble across on here, or even google stuff like "supplements for people who dont get enough nutrients". anything like that you can think of, really.

Life has been so out of control lately and I’m barely losing so I’m just gonna focus on getting even more control over the one thing I can.

I’m gonna start OMAD’ing a monster and a slice of sourdough toast (roughly 370 all together if I’m calculating right) and burning at least 500 through steps/pilates.

I’ll also try water fast any day I have off work.

Can someone make a low calorie ice cream that isn’t fucking mid cause that was a waste of 112 calories