When They Finally Have A Flat Of Their Own, James Carries Lily Through The Threshold In His Arms, And

Sirius Black the Drama Queen

"Professor McGonagall!" Sirius yelled.

The whole class turned around in their seats to stare at him.

"What is it, Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagall asked, sounding weary.

"I have to be taken to the hospital wing immediately!" Sirius cried dramatically.

"May I ask why?" Professor McGonagall asked in the same tone as before.

"I have a paper cut!" Sirius whimpered. The class broke out in laughter.

"Mr. Black, I really don't think a paper cut requires you to go to the hospital wing."

"GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD," Sirius said even more dramatically, kneeling on the floor.

Professor McGonagall had to try hard to hide her laughter. What a drama queen Sirius was. She tried to subdue him. "Mr. Black--"

"TELL JAMES'S PARENTS I LOVE THEM."

"What's this?" Lily asked aloud, picking up the folded piece of parchment from the floor. It was blank on both sides. She tried prodding it with her wand, but nothing happened.

"Specialis Revelio!" she whipered.

Again, nothing happened.

Frustrated, Lily tried speaking to it instead. "My name is Lily Evans."

At once, jet black writing began spreading across the map. Lily squinted to try and make out the words.

Mr. Moony would like to ask Lily if she could put the map down now before things get crazy.

Mr. Padfoot would like to tell Lily not to put the map down because he's quite looking forward to Mr. Prongs pooping his pants.

Mr. Moony would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to be quiet.

Mr. Wormtail would like to tell Lily that her hair looks nice today and would also like to ask if Mr. Prongs is doing okay.

Mr. Prongs is not doing okay.

Mr. Padfoot would like to ask Lily if she could find this piece of parchment more often.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that Mr. Padfoot is an arse and would also like to ask Lily if she has ever had feelings for a lad named James Potter.

Mr. Mooony would like to slam his head against the wall.

What is going on? Lily wondered as more writing appeared on the surface of the map.

Mr. Wormtail still thinks that Lily should put this parchment down and walk away.

Mr. Prongs does not want Lily to put this down as he's still waiting for an answer about that whole James Potter thing.

Mr. Padfoot is having the time of his life.

Mr. Padfoot would also like to add that this James fellow seems like an awful human being that smells like dung. Or, at least, that's Mr. Padfoot's impression.

Mr. Prongs would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to SHUT UP.

Mr. Moony apologizes to Lily.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that James Potter is in fact a wonderful bloke and Mr. Prongs has heard that James would make a wonderful boyfriend.

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs is good at being subtle.

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot should go shove his head up his abnormally large arse.

"Hey, where's Remus?" asked Alice. "I haven't seen him lately."

"He's on his time of the month," Sirius snickered.

"Wait, what?"

"I was just kidding," Sirius said with a small smile. "He's a werewolf."

"Very funny, Black," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just going to go find Frank."

"Wow, that actually worked!" Sirius said in amazement, watching Alice's retreating figure idly. "I told them the truth so they wouldn't know the truth. Sirius Black, you are a genius."

A Conversation that Definitely Happened Between Sirius & Remus

Sirius: So, we still on for tonight?

Remus: You mean tonight, the night when I painfully turn into a werewolf and you try to stop me from killing others while trying to stay alive yourself?

Sirius: Yeah...

Remus: Obviously

[before being interrogated by the police]

Remus: Sirius, don't say a word.

Sirius:...

Sirius: Fergalicious

Remus: I said no words

Sirius: oH I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble it's not a word and now suddenly it is a word because it's convenient for you

PSA. (perhapsarat on tumblr + instagram)

marauders: we’re just so cool and rebellious

marauders: spend hours upon hours in the library meticulously studying hogwarts, sketching maps, researching magic way beyond their age level 

 marauders: skool sux get rekt filch

remus is me. i am remus. monopoly is sacred.

Remus normally: I hate capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work 3 jobs to afford basic necessities.

Remus, playing monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

Probably every single class that James & Sirius had together

Professor: Let's copy down notes on practical charms

then.

*Sirius & James whisper arguing*

Professor: Boys, why can I hear you talking?

Sirius: Uh... Because you have ears?

Professor: And why are you talking during my class?

James: Well, why are you teaching during our

conversation?

Professor: Detention, both of you

James: Oh deer

Sirius: This place has gone to the dogs

*muffled giggles of the Marauders*

oh my god y’all in honor of christmas why don’t we just collectively imagine our deer james turning into a stag and wearing a red nose while pretending to be rudolph for harry