Cryptozoology > Crypt*c*rrency

“Have you heard the story

of the rabbit and the moon?”

-Cosmo Sheldrake, the moss

Tw: Bright Colors

nonhuman /srs

[ ID: tweet by @/lysihtea reading “I’m genderless. I’m full of gender. I’m a malewife. I’m a biblically accurate angel. I’m a pop idol. I’m the fourth incarnation of god. I’m a convicted criminal. I can never die.” ]

i'm the goblin who eats the books when you put them in the return slot at the library. every book you've ever checked out has been a forgery i typed out from memory and printed on the xerox machine and put back into circulation. i've written more books than james patterson

I don't belong in this state.

what do you mean how do i feel attractive. too many eyes, fangs, antlers, boney and unnatural, way too tall, eerie and looking like a corner-eye demon of course.

These are the official genders btw:

• black cat with 3+ eyes

• fresno nightcrawler

• mothman

• [redacted]

• not deer

he’s here…he’s even on my 3ds screen. I hope you can meet him soon.

Remember when you smiled right to my face? As all my little tears of oxalate They made a shape, revealed a snake Now I'm stop-drop rollin' over all your jokes Every time you tell a lie, I'm prayin' that you choke, Should've listened to the signs and the horoscope, Hope you never cope, hope you slip on soap, Crack your head like an egg, wanna see the yolk, You were such a hoax No, I never knew what it meant What it meant to be content with you Everything I expressed, I professed It never quite made it through Said it's all in my head, all in my head Whenever I spoke my truth No, I won't defend you to all my friends This time I refuse If you bite my hand again I will never feed you, you can call me evil Take it to the grave if you wanna play pretend I won't be mistreated, please call me conceited, Took me way too long to put this to bed Lovin you was lethal, guess that makes me evil.

-Evil - Melanie Martinez

Hello, my name is Erik.

I’m a cat.

No, wait-

I’m your Phantom of the Litterbox.