gentle growth is still growth, slow growth is still growth, fast growth is still growth, steady growth is still growth, messy growth is still growth. It’s as simple as that :), growth isn’t linear <3
Believe that you have the liberty to reach, direct and make the space that allows you to breath, to build walls that provide you shelter, warmth and support rather than one’s that are closing in on you. You have what it takes to create an environment that is comfortable for you to live in, and you have what it takes to learn to love yourself all over again. There are times when the places you live in, trigger responses out of you, and have you behave in a way that don’t necessarily define you at all. So you don’t have to wait around for a chance, or live under the false pretence of an image that isn’t you, because there will come a day when you will make a home that is full of you and have the freedom to define all its boundaries :)
To those of you writing your papers right now, I hope you realise how important it is to mark and acknowledge your progress no matter the amount, and that your academic caliber is not necessarily going to be the same as others and that’s no reason for you to beat yourself up over, because you’ve done what you can by the end of the day. You need to realise the strength, time and effort it took for you to do it because it was YOU who sat down those hours completing your tasks for and all by yourself, not anybody else, so I beg of you to give yourself the credit you so incredibly deserve. <3
sometimes it’s easier said than done than to not want to change, but change does happen, be it within or beyond our will, but change does happen and it hits you like a bullet before you even have the time to prepare yourself for the run. So I’m just here to tell you that it’s okau to admit that you’re hurt and that this pain won’t subside just that easily, that it’s gonna show every morning you wake up and it’s gonna burn every few times you take a shower. That’s what it means to acknowledge it. That’s what it means to accept the very state of your being, and that’s what it requires to patch yourself up, to heal :) so the next time somebody asks you “are you going to change?” breathe in and say “am I going to change? I can’t tell, but I’m going to accept myself”
For all that your heart has seeped in through , for all that you have continued to give, for all that your being has continued to hold, for all that your skin has embraced, for every promise that you’ve thread onto for yourself, to see you on the other side, you made it :) I see you now and you still remain, every bit of you still remains, you made it to 2023. Happy new year <3
here again to tell you that some days are just not going to be that easy, some days you’re going to want to stop everything you’re doing and take a blow to the leg so you stop walking and carrying all the weight you are because of that fraction of population that you met. Those days don’t come as easy as they go, those days are going to have the tightest grip on you till the fact that you’re going to be gasping for air, and they’re going to make you BELIEVE that there’s no way you’re going to be making it out if you haven’t pressed past a ten fold sheet. I’m going to tell you to take a step back and give yourself the time to let all of that unfold, let it lay itself out so you can finally decide the path you’ve been wanting to walk on this entire time, and I promise you with my whole heart, mind and soul that you WILL get that chance, you will and I’m going to be waving at you from the other side of it all :) you strong strong human being
write to yourself. Write to yourself, a letter, for all that you have become, and for all that you will, write to yourself on the first of December, write to yourself because this is the last breath of the year that we’ll spend together before the many more we’ll take ahead. Tell that version of you in the past about all that you overcame, all that you had been looped around, all that made you break. Hold yourself through this letter, and give yourself the closure you need. Letting this be your warmest embrace, Happy first of December <3
My friend came back home from a competition and told me how her partner was disheartened at the fact that her team didn’t make it to the final round of the debate and that there’ll always be biases along the way but that doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of being out there than they are. You. Put. In. Your. All. You went out there and got them. You did what you could at the time and FOR THEN AND FOR YOU that was more than enough, it’s very important to realise your worth regardless of what’s been set out there or what clears through, that doesn’t mean you didn’t push through, you did :)
I Hope you realise that you never have to regret the act of falling in love, you felt what was to be felt at the moment, you let yourself fall in love with the very thought of a person’s breath on your skin, you fell in love with the act of their fingers running through your hair, you fell in love with the act of being in each others presence and doing absolutely nothing. You fell, in love. Please allow yourself to feel the emotions that encompass you, surely you’ve moved on, surely you don’t have that person around you anymore, but allow yourself to be close to others, allow yourself fall yet again, allow yourself to commit the act of giving your whole heart, body, mind, and soul to that one person sitting on the swing across yours, and let those emotions fall whilst. There’s no saying where one can’t learn to hold onto the lingering memory of what once was, it was a memory where you loved them, and it stays untouched basking itself in the warmth. It can be your own little album because you shouldn’t have to fight the smile that creeps up your face :) it was okau to fall, and it’s okau to fall again.
It’s ok if you can’t find the words. It’s ok if your heart feels to heavy in your chest so much so you can feel it sinking further into the void left by those that once were, I will hold it and dig the earth out to plant it in your backyard, for wherever home is, to show you how you love, to show you just how much of this red desire and passionfruit you hold within you, and to make you realise just how sickeningly sweet the aftertaste is and how it makes me want to blanket you with the warmth that it caressed me with, so to say I will show you how you love and love you whilst, I will tell you that’s it’s alright to not want to be stringing the weight of something you can’t afford, I will help you branch out to all the things that you missed and have the one and many nights you need to hold them close for the closure to come, to tell you that you don’t have to stitch your limbs down to someone while they’re anchoring you from fully and completely reaching out to that one version of yourself that respects and holds you. I will show you how you love and love you whilst :)
things you can do despite your sense of guilt
- go for a walk even if you think you don’t deserve it
- have a snack even if you think you don’t deserve it
- take a break from studying even if you think you don’t deserve it
- reach out to someone even if you think you don’t deserve it
- demand, have needs and wants even if you think you don’t deserve it
- make it through the day even if you think you don’t deserve it
- feel mentally exhausted albeit seeming physically fine
- feel the sense of abandonment despite the company of those around you
- go to bed early despite not having done much according to your mental routine
- let out a deep breath even if you think you weren’t holding one back
Settling does not equate to stagnating growth. You get to choose whether you want to move forward or be anchored down by what you choose to attach yourself onto. It's simple to emphasise the necessity of change and the need for adequate adaptation. Stressing the reality that change isn't always necessary—perhaps you've achieved your peak or have chosen a stable course for yourself—is equally vital. Give yourself time to realise where your wants and needs take you and whether it respects you. This does not necessarily imply that you don't want to leave your comfort zone, as you will still continue to grow endlessly.
To keep going regardless of being made aware of what’s to come is honestly one of, if not the bravest thing to do
it’s ok to admit that it’s one of those moments where you’re going to have to hold yourself tight
Gentle reminder that being vulnerable is a blessing, and an even gentler reminder that you can put your socks on and go to sleep, wanting to keep yourself warm is a need, we all accept our warmth and source it through different beings around us, whether or whether not you decide to find that warmth within the linings of the page you happened to accidentally read is completely subjective and understandable, it’s beautiful, so continue to keep it close to you, to have ourselves our own shelter, to have ourselves our own warmth.
I am giving I am continuing I am acknowledging I am breathing I am feeling I am admiring I am constantly processing my own thoughts and emotions, settling them in bit by bit and taking my time full and through even if it means I can’t meet somebody’s ends, even if it means they have to wait, even if it means they’re not ready to stay rooted through my steps. Because that’s ok. I am not leaving, I chose to stay, I chose to stay since day one and it is my place to stay firm on that decision, because that’s ok :) choose to stay for yourself, because that light of you has had plenty leave as it is, the last thing you’d wanna do is be one of them
YOU DESERVE TO BE SPENT TIME WITH It’s important to realise that not every person out there has been set out to take advantage of you, we have our own past, we have our own lessons, but each and every individual out there, deserves to have the benefit of doubt for not necessarily having an ulterior motive against you. You are doing what you can out of your complete will, learn to slowly dissolve the thought where you think you don’t deserve to have anybody else’s company around you or you’re only worth spending time with because you’re their only way in and out of a loop.
Sure people NEED you, but that does not equate to them tossing you away once they’re done wrapping up. Because every time I think about it, it’s the same as somebody else shutting me out, with no regards to an explanation or having second thoughts about the way I’ve allowed myself to feel around them,about the way I’ve allowed myself to fully and completely love the deepest corners of their mind, body and heart. It felt bad to be given up on that easily. Refrain, reflect and then proceed :) you are healing, NOT shielding, there’s a difference. Let’s not blur the line <3
You don’t have to put on a shield at the onset of your day, but you do have to realise that you have a heart and it makes you feel, it helps you feel, and you’ll have to allow that. I repeat this is not a war, this is you living, treat yourself with care, rather than masking it under a tough exterior
Soft reminder that you have the liberty to choose the people you’ll invest your time and energy into, not the other way around, don’t let something that couldn’t have possibly governed you, have its restraints on you
If you have chosen to prioritise yourself over the commitment to an event or person then give yourself a Pat on the back because learning to say no is easier said than done, and if you’ve made it through that hurdle then you deserve nothing more than your own company to better suffice your conscience and give it the peace of mind it needs this very moment
I strongly believe that love can be found and channelled anywhere so long as that something/someone hasn’t decided to make you feel otherwise, almost as though you should regret loving.Love is heavy, lightweight, subjective, mobile and constantly keeping a check on you so you see glimpses of it around you, maybe hidden under the lines of the book you’re reading, maybe trapped under the warmth of your blanket, maybe with the company a stray cat gives you on the street while you’re on your way back home,maybe with the candy wrapper you found rummaging through your pocket while feeling the sweet aftertaste in your mouth, maybe with the way someone rests their hands on your shoulder, maybe with the way someone calls out your name, it’s there. It stays, so don’t you dare for a second think that it’s left your side
T shirt that says publicly crying isn’t a giveaway of your sensitivity or weakness. You are hurt, and you are hurting, you have every right to to feel your pain and acknowledge it regardless of the setting, understand what must be prioritised first instead of submitting to a pseudo authority and audience that keeps you from being able to hold yourself when and where needed. It pains me to say how I have come across so many people who’re strongly forced to believe that they must shield themselves by hiding something so beautiful. Save yourself the mental 4buse, take it one step at a time, feel free to let yourself out the way your body needs it to be
Maybe, just maybe we could try to build a wall that permits our growth and breathing than by disguising our safety under the impression of a wall that inconsistently foreshadows our own strings from being intertwined by another’s, you know it’s not wrong to love :) you never did anything wrong by loving
Today felt long, today felt heavy, today felt strong, I wasn’t quite ready, and I think it’s ok if all I wanted to do today was wrap myself in a blanket, because I deserve to have a soft whispy sigh kept the leaf I picked up from street on the side of my pillow today
Growth is constant. Always and forever, even when you feel like you’ve done nothing productive throughout your day, even when you feel like you’ve come to a stop, even when you feel like you haven’t moved past a point in what seems like ages, even when you feel like you aren’t over the loss of a figure, even when you feel like you can no longer feel yourself anymore. My precious reader, I hope you understand just how much courage it takes to come to terms with the mere fact of not having done anything today. Admitting it to yourself is far more than enough. You are breathing, growing and you are constantly giving every living second of your life. You are reciprocating emotions, you are finding a way through your thoughts to draw this very conclusion, you are processing so many different interactions through the span of the past few hours, yet being able to continue to communicate, Respect that.
I can’t help but adore the way people love and learn to love. Because it’s so much more than just having this heavy feeling weighing you down when it’s time for them to leave, it’s so much more than just intertwining your fingers together, its allowing yourself to feel the warmth of the sun tinting your cheeks with a blush you’re not too familiar with, but the familiarity of the warmth and it’s aftertaste is savouring, it makes you want to blanket your chest, it’s the way you accept and admit the fact that you’ve come to grow rather affectionate about something or someone in a way that fills your heart to the brim so much so you no longer have control over the direction of your emotions, it’s about unfolding your love and folding yourselves right back into a form where the two of you feel complete and enough to have so much space for what’s to come,
because watching somebody learning to love is lovely, it’s grounding and I’m so proud of you for finding it within yourself to love even when you had to go through what you did, even when those around you made you think you weren’t worthy of it, so to be able to cultivate that garden with others is truly admirable
To be embraced is to accept and to submit to your form that craves to be held and kept warm, submit to that version of you that requires your company to be whole, pull your arms around your chest and hold your hands to caress the fabric of your being rather than pulling it apart thread by thread
Handle yourself with the care and love that you yearn, you do not deserve to be beat up over an event that took a gruesome toll on you, putting up with that time was hard, dealing with the absence of so many figures was hard, having the constant fear of having nobody to reach out to was hard. And you have every right to accept that, it was completely alright to accept that you wanted to be held and loved even in a time where a version of you believed that you couldn’t. Say yes to being embraced
Always casually waiting sitting on those huge seats in the cinema hall swinging my feet back and forth feeling the butterflies in my stomach chipping away at the branches of my ribs to see the post credit scene where they pat you on the back and kith your eyelids and forehead and that sweet nose of yours because you did today, you did today :)
i think it’s wonderful the way people put themselves out there, be it their word or presence, in mind or in soul, they have my heart. We all come from our own sets of backgrounds sharing our own sets of personal experiences and I wonder who actually knows the kind of influences we have around us, to maybe keep things to ourselves or be able to lay it on the table, because it’s absolutely wonderful watching someone learning to grow past those experiences and choosing to take a step, I truly and deeply admire you for saying that and it must’ve been incredibly hard to go through those intrusive thoughts and getting till the end of the road, but I promise you I will be waiting, forever and more if it means that you’ll be taking steps to get there :) please continue doing what you do I love how we share our love and our thoughts, it’s so stupidly brave and passionate.