Kakuzu - Blog Posts
Naruto memes/text posts I’ve made part 11!!
Akatsuki edition bc I have akatsuki brainrot❤️ so here’s 8 instead of my usual 4✌️✌️
(Read more for yappathon and unnecessary explanation)
Yes yes this is me pushing my itakabu agenda what abt it?? Also the Ukrainian zetsu says just means “Fat wh0re”😭😭
Named deidara “may dei” bc I found out he was born in may and I’m bias<3
I spent forever trying to find that mr beast edited as Kisame photo and almost gave up
Hc that sasori threatens to make tobi his next puppet project when he gets on sasoris nerves and obito thinks he’s not serious but he 100% is. Sasori isn’t gonna seek out a sharingan to put in his puppets but if one so happens to land on his door step… well…
Pein’s name is infact a line from that HORRENDOUS French “rap” going around on tiktok and nagato would legit think it’s tuff💔🥀
Walks into your feed I HAVE MADE MORE
(Naruto memes/text posts I’ve made part 5!)
Two more kakashi memes because that man is always up to smth.
*Deidara, Itachi and Hidan building a “fort” out of tables, chairs, blankets and pillows*
Konan: What in the world are you three doing?
Deidara: We decided to make a club, hm. These are our headquarters.
Konan: A club? For what?
Hidan: It’s the Older Man Fucker club, pretty lady. All of us are doin’ it with the old guys.
Itachi: Kisame is not that old. Nor is Sasori-san.
Deidara: Hey, still older than us, hm. Not all of us can be with someone Kakuzu’s age!
Hidan: Hey, the bastard may be old as shit but he’s still got it where it counts, asshole. Oi, wait a sec, Konan! YOU should be in our club too!
Konan: Me?
Itachi: Mm. You’re dating Nagato, correct?
Konan: Yes, but —
Hidan: Well you’re only like 20, and —
Konan: I’m 32, actually.
All three: *thunderstruck silence*
Itachi: Really?
Hidan: Shit you’re gorgeous!
Deidara: What skin care products do you use, hm?
Hidan: Okay but still, you’re dating Nagato. That’s still a pretty big difference; that fucker’s gotta be 60 at least, and —
Konan: Actually Nagato and I are about the same age.
All three:
Hidan: … what the fuck?
Deidara: What skin care products does HE use, hm, so I know never to use them?
Itachi, gently: Do you need me to break whatever gengetsu he has you under?
Konan:
Nagato, in his room tweaking a Pain-body: *twitches*
yeah.
I'm taking a little rest today, too. Decided to do more quick sketches to brush up on anatomy and angles.I'm hoping for more time on the weekends, because most of the time when I get home, I just fall asleep until I wake up at night-. By the way! I've created a telegram channel… I have no idea how to use it, so, uh. never mind, I'll just post spoilers or more open content there from time to time. Feel free to join. BOOP anyway, it's Kakuzu time
While im waiting for Kisame's design,,, do you have any hc for this AU you can share rn?,,,,
Hell yeah i do
Im actually working on he's design right now, so I'll try to finish it today.( ；∀；)
I am sure that the list below will be replenished
And you can actually write me you're ideas ( ´･ω･)
1. Obito
Tobi - In public (Deidara calls him this on a regular basis.).
Madara Uchiha - His teacher's name, which he uses in recitals.
2. Pain - His deputy, his right hand man.
Kisame - A close comrade
Deidara - More often fooling around together.
Conan is Pain's substitute.
3. His team call sign is (tsuki) moon.
4. Retains Toby's identity only under a mask, which he does not remove in public places.
5. Often overworked and tries to do his best.
6. Despite his desire to win, if someone on the team is seriously injured, Obito would rather take care of his comrade than continue the competition.
7. The least discomfort he feels in front of Kisame and Pain is when he takes off his mask.
8. Doesn't like it when Madara is mentioned, or attempts to make comparisons.
9. Catches panic attacks due to his claustrophobia.
10. He needs to be FORCED to rest.
1. Hidan
2. Suffers from various ailments due to his love of licking other people's blood. Kakuzu is tired of paying for his treatment.
3. Almost always walks around naked to the waist. He is always given sweaters and jackets, but he hangs them around his waist or neck.
4. A religious fanatic. (Obviously)
5. Before a round, he applies black paint to certain parts of his body. This is his "ritual", so his god Jashin grants good luck.
6. His team call sign is (kami) god
7. Always called first to perform, especially to wave his fists.
8. Asks Kakuzu to spar with him.
1. Deidara
2. Didn't like wearing big team coats, so they made him a more open, loose design that wouldn't interfere with using techniques.
3.The mouths on his hands are covered with gloves during normal stages.
He even has a zipper on his chest.
4. Always reacts violently to losses.
5. His hands often fall off at the worst possible moment..... which he blames on Kakuzu, not his own thoughtless actions.
6. His team call sign is (bakuhatsu) explosion.
1. Kisame
2. Fish ears...
3. Instead of Samehada, he has a Cricket Bat. (They still look alike)
4. Can perform melee rounds.
5. His team call sign is (Shaku) Shark.
6. Always seems overly violent to other teams, but among Akatsuki he is one of the most caring team members.
7. obvious babysitter for the Uchiha's.
8. cares about the overall health of the team.
9. I also want to give him a shark tail.... Yes.. What are you going to do to me? А?! WHAT?! GO AHEAD AND ATTACK.
1. Kakuzu
2. Usually does not perform, but will join Hidan and Kisame in a melee round if necessary.
3. All of the Akatsuki team's expenses come from his wallet. He allocates resources.
4. Usually patches up other people's wounds when needed.
5. Callsign - (Hatsu) Hearts.
6. Doesn't like solo performances in public, but may take part to blow off steam.
Who is your favorite character(s) besides Obito?
here you go Obito is still here, ignore him
( 2/2 ) he still doesn't get it
° I found one of my old artworks. Okay, I still think it's funny
° 📼: c0piumtxm (YouTube)
° 💔
"But mama, I'm in love with a criminal,
And this type of love isn't rational. It's fictional"
° come on, lay out your favorite antagonists
° 📼 : ravenofwoe (Instagram)
Therapist: Kakuzu in a cute apron can't hurt you
Kakuzu in a cute apron:
° inspired by:
There are two kinds of people on November 1st
Yeah, I'm a little late, it's the second half of month
But better late than never 😌
Hidan, why you are so rude?
in search of values
🧜♀️🧜♀️🧜♀️
It’s Sasori birthday, but I don’t have time to do something good now so have this as placeholder lovely psycho-puppet-maniac
It’s losely related to my unexpected fanfic for one event. Something related to a crackship which can’t get out of my mind under the cut
Czytaj dalej
Kakuzu Biology Speculations
Obviously it there is no realistic way to make sense of how the HELL Kakuzu’s body works, but it’s still fun to think about!
Okay so first of all, what does Earth Grudge Fear actually seem to do to his body? I’d say it’s safe to assume Kakuzu was a regular ass ninja before he used the kinjutsu, and that it was forbidden in the first place due to both the cost of live hearts and the danger posed to the caster. It seems as though all his internal organs and muscle was replaced by the strange threads, and I’d extend this to most, if not all, of his skeletal system alongside it. Personally, I see the Glasgow’s Smile and stitched-up limbs as signs of something forcing entry into his body and stretching it to the point of tearing, but this is probably just a design choice. He can move these threads at will, and can turn them into live creatures outside the body that act in his will.
So, if his internal organs have been decimated by Earth Grudge Fear, how the hell is he alive? My favourite theory is that Earth Grudge Fear could actually be a type of summoning jutsu, where these thread creatures feed upon the internal organs, muscle and bones of the body before merging with the host and replacing the musculoskeletal and nervous systems - forming a mutualistic, parasitic relationship with the summoner. But what happens after? How does Kakuzu receive the energy needed in order to move, fight, speak and sustain perhaps up to five other living organisms on top of himself?
I believe this is where the hearts come into play. The caster will supply the creatures with a number of hearts that they will slowly feed upon over time, providing energy to the body, alongside elemental chakra and keeping Kakuzu ALIVE. If he has only one heart, then I think these five creatures could merge together into one to conserve energy and provide it to all of them equally, leaving them with only one type of chakra gained from said heart. If the creatures are outside the body and their own heart is lost, they will die however may be able to be manually merged with the others and resuscitate them.
Five hearts for six organisms isn’t a lot of energy, however - if this were to sustain them then they’d need to have freakishly slow metabolisms and waste as little energy as possible. This may be how Kakuzu is able to live for so long without aging: a slow metabolism! This is just speculation and can be attributed to personality, however to me Kakuzu doesn’t seem to move around very much. He stands still a lot of the time, not even moving an inch (for example, when Hidan was fighting Team 10 by himself) and I don’t believe we ever see him run outside of combat. In combat, too, his movements are very precise and hard-hitting, almost as if he’s trying to be as efficient as possible in order to conserve energy. Again, this can be boiled down to personality. It would make sense that he would move as little and as efficiently as possible outside of combat, and may require crazy amounts of sleep or even enter hibernation-like phases during certain times of the year, perhaps when business is slow or he could even receive something like medical leave. This means that during combat, it may be a life-or-death situation. He expends A LOT of precious energy during combat, and so he may actually be required to kill his foes in order to replenish his hearts and ‘eat’ so to speak. It would make sense if he also has some sort of deal with many bounty houses and use his canon subordinates to collect spares to keep in safehouses or be available for him to take as needed. It is shown that these bounty houses have huuuuge morgues, after all, so plenty of bodies. He may also use a large portion of his money to buy hearts off the black market, and this could be a further explanation for his greed!
Overall, I think Kakuzu’s Earth Grudge Fear jutsu results in a mutualistic parasitic relationship with the thread creatures and the caster’s body - the caster being able to control these creatures at will while providing energy to the creatures. This results in a very slow metabolism as they may eat the hearts he collects over time, which can be replenished through bounty houses, the black market, enemies and his subordinates. This explains his ruthless efficiency. I enjoy speculating these things, and Kakuzu is one of my favourite characters; he is very interesting and could’ve been explored SO MUCH more!
Idk who would read this but figured I’d put it here :P
αkαtsuki icons ' 🎬
Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution - “Creation of Akatsuki”
ONE SHIP CHALLANGE WITH THE AKATSUKI
°•°Hidan•°•
2K words!
Shoves the whole fucking thing in his mouth, chew as casually as possible till the heat hits his tongue then he starts to chew REAL slow, tears pricking his eyes as his breathing grows ragged.
Finally he would 'swallow' and then let out the most gutteral, and ear peircing screetch as he scrambled to try and wash the nasty and hot ass taste from his mouth as he screams a string of curses
°•°Kakuzu•°•
Honestly, at first he wouldn't take it too seriously. But at first he would take a huge ass bite and glance at your ear face before chewing slightly. Imidiately his cheeks grow red, nose begins to run dispite his age- he then coughs into he ball of his hand with a hissing inhail.
"It's not hot." He stated bluntly, you just lift a finger to point at his very obviously tear filled eyes.
"Your eyes are waterin-"
"Shut the fuck up."
When you retreat back to your room hands raised in mocking surrender, that man dead ass is hastily making his way to guzzle down anything that might sooth his burning mouth, aching throat, and scorching stomach.
°•°Itachi•°•
He dead ass thought he could handle the heat. But nope!-
Popped that chip in his mouth and his hands are already flapping, tongue lulling from his mouth as he chants 'HOT' repeatedly with teary eyes.
You thought he would have been way more composed over this but again- you were wrong!-
You hand the man a nice soothing glass of milk to imidiately down as you coo in giggling comfort, voice laced with guilt.
"Are you okay Itachi?" You squeak slightly rubbing comforting circle along the little of his back.
The said man sat hunched forwards, elbows jabbing into his thichs as his head rested in his trembling hands. Breathing having gone ragged as his tongue hung from his mouth as if a panting dog.
"Yeah- yeah I'm fine- just stunned-" he lied.
You pout slightly again handing him the cup of milk to which he took greatfuly.
"I said you didn't have to do it if you didn't want too..." Placing the cup onto the end table next to the furnatures armrest he shook his head.
"If I don't want to do it I wouldn't have aten it. But now I regret it."
°•°Kisame•°•
Poor man-
You honestly refused to give him the chip in fear of what it would do to his stomach since his body has certain needs and things that he can't ingest due to his shark like appearance and shit.
But!
When you turned your head for just a MOMENT that black chip was already between his teeth. And gone.
You stated at him concerned as his cheeks begin to flush, eyes begin to water, chest raising stutteres and breathing hitches.
Without a sound that shark-man is dashing his way to the kitchen faster than the fitness gram pacer test to seek something- ANYTHING to sooth his aching soul.
°•°Sasori•°•
"No." And that was final. Door closing in your face as he slithered back to his desk to carve his puppets.
°•°Deidara•°•
Poor poor boy.
Remember how art is an explosion?
Not this explosion.
This one he fucking HATES with a burning hatred.
Deidara just nipped the corner of that chip- not too bad at first, yes it was spicy but that was just the beginning.
Seeing that the chip wasn't as hot as potrayed- he shoved the whole thing in his mouth with a nonchalant shrug, chewing away.
That was till his movements came to a hault and choked out a stiffled cough.
"You alright Dei?" You questioned, an amused smirk across your smug features.
Deidara trembled slightly before lifting a wavering thumb in false reassurance. "Yea-h I'm fine-" as if on cue he begins to hack violently, shoving his fingers down his throat to rid of the charcoal colored chip that he had so foolishly swallowed. As this was being done he yanked his hand away flapping it wildly as the mouth in his palm began to gape tongue lulling from its place in his hand.
"OW OW OW!" He whimpered, blowing on the snarling feature in his palm that now had the slightest specks of the devil's chip on its skin.
As the blond arsonist cried out in agony you screamed out in utterly laughter, throat growing raw from the large amount of air that left your lungs.
And with that, he- from now on- will make you bite into it first to make sure you didn't sneak a lill' surprise in there.
•°•Pein°•°
Just like Sasori, he declined your request/demand with much confidence.
•°•Tobi°•°
THIS POOR MAN-CHILD
HE TRUSTED YOU
"Now Tobi, this is REALLY hot..."
"Tobi can handle it!" He beamed, reaching his grabby hands toward the price of food that you yanked from his reach. Tobi let out a whine in protest as he slumped forwards, resting his weight against your now leaning figure.
You handed him the chip reluctantly before it was snatched form your fingers and downed almost imidiately by the Uchiha.
"(Y/n)-Chan! That was goo-" his sentence was cut incredibly short- stopped with a hissing gasp as his hands began to wave violently from under the cloaks sleeves, you could see the heat in his ears as his face was covered by the orange mask.
You imidiately felt bad as he began to wait in agony, dashing around the hide out as if it were caught ablaze, screeching that his mouth was going to wither away!
You had grabbed the poor man a large glass of milk to sooth his aching tummy.
"Tobi is never going to trust you again..." He spoke, voice hinted with betrayal as you stroked the crown of his head, sweeping back the short black locks of his hair. You snickered slightly at the males words.
"Hey, don't blame me. I warned you and you didn't listen to me. Like a always say- 'curiosity killed the cat'-"
"-But this time satisfaction did NOT bring it back."
•°•Zetsu°•°
"No thank you (Y/n), Not interested in your stupid little experiment."
"Don't be rude- I don't want to do it."
This went on for too long, so you just walked away.
•°•Konan°•°
You absolutely REFUSED to give this angel of a woman the chip. You would NEVER harm this absolute love of a dove.
"So, the others have told me about this 'One chip challenge' that you have been doing. I also heard from Pein-sama that you even offered him up for the challenge. But I was curious as to why you haven't offered me yet?" Her voice was soft, a twinge of sorrow tainted her tone. You imidiately hopped form your place on the couch, approaching the emotionally hurt purple-haired tiger-lilly-eyed woman that you adored.
"No no no! Konan, I would never exclude you from anything fun! It's that the chip is really hot and I don't want you getting sick and stuff! I like you too much!" You then explained the meaning behind why you hadn't offered the lady a chip to which she nodded in understanding.
"Awe, (Y/n), your so generous. And I appreciate you telling me because I am honestly not the type who enjoys spicy things like that. It would hurt my stomach. But thank you for saving me the agony, unlike the others."
You snickered nervously.
"No problem Konan!"
______
Unedited
Person: hey why don't you just draw from memory!?
What I remember:
VS
What I get:
