Trying - Blog Posts

I have so many fics planned(Over 100) with the plots ready to go but no will to actually write them

🖤💚Felt good tbh 💚🖤

Tis the era of getting my shit together

I tried , I really tried .

The Mighty

To the Suicidal Mama Fighting to Stay Alive for Her Kids

"I see you, mama, fighting against all odds because your children need you."

Love this

I'm trying out animation it is hard very very hard...

*sigh* #poetry #poem #poet #poemsofig #poemsofinstagram #poetryisnotdead #originalpoem #writers #creative #writing #writingcommunity #musings #tired #trying #selflove #dreams

I am getting offended by most of the things these days...

Don't know if it's my newly found self worth phase or I have crossed the thin line to enter the ego phase.

Trying

I'm trying my best

To keep on going

Stay true and remember

To learn and adapt

To Be honest and open

Towards you and myself

And when I'm exhausted

I'm trying to rest

I understand and I believe in u. I feel the same way.

Fuck everything

Why is it that I feel my willpower at times can't begin to be matched in certain situations, with specific people?

I'm not trying to talk horribly about them I've just noticed I'm willing to do a lot more in a lot of situations

I'm not trying to be an ass or anything I would just appreciate it if my actions and feelings through actions, were a little bit more of the same as some specific someone else's. I know not everyone is the same and I'm genuinely happy and lucky to be surrounded with some of the people I'm surrounded by. I just feel like I go above and beyond just to receive "just enough," or bare minimum. I don't see how my feelings or loyalty with anything can be questioned when I do more than expected of me so much. But it is what it is for now. Things will change, let's see how.

did this at an attempt to work with photoshop... ?

at least i'm trying 

I ironically (a fat bitch) need to be reminded of this each time I write a new OC.

i'm letting you go with just a warning this time but you better draw her fatter next time ok?

Don’t Do It

Long sleeves don’t look pretty in summer

You’ll get weird looks off people you don’t know

Sympathy in their eyes as they watch you perspire

Or itch

Or suffocate yourself to hide what’s underneath

They ask themselves why

But all you can do is pull your sleeves lower

 Those you love will only grieve for you

You’ll see tears drip down their cheeks

Just like blood drips down your arms

Or legs

Or wherever you hurt yourself

They’ll ask themselves why

But all you can do is shrug your shoulders

  Sex becomes a lot harder with the lights on

You’ll hide under the covers

Hoping the one you love might not see

Or touch

Or feel the rough scars you’ve littered your body with

They’ll ask themselves why

But all you can do is pull the blankets tighter

  The release is only temporary

You’ll only get the satisfaction for so long

Before you’re itching to repeat the same action

Or another

Or some other way you can possibly hurt yourself

You’ll ask yourself why

But all you can do is reach for the blade again

sly cooper art dump

My sleeve rolled up, but only for a second. I didnt even notice my fresh scars were showing. Suddenly i feel my sleeve being pulled up. Its my "friend". She doesnt know i cut. Only 1 person knows. I just said it was my sisters cat. She didnt buy it. Other people start to join in, asking what really happened. Ive beeen keeping this secret for 2 years, and ill be damned if they find out now.

Eventually, they gave up on asking. That night, i cut a little too deep. A little too far down. My thighs were already covered in blood, so i moved on to my upper arms, so it could be covered with a tshirt. It started rolling up again and the next day, i felt that same terror as someone tried pulling up my sleeve without warning. I couldnt think. I was in a group of about 10 people, and i had a total breakdown. I blacked out, but luckily, my one friend was in that group and told everyone to just leave me alone. Thats why i love her so much. I know she'll always have my back, even though we havent talked about it in a year.

I feel like im being shaped and molded into what you want. You're chipping away pieces of me, and im letting you.

- it would feel nice to belong somewhere

I said it would be fine. That i was okay just being your friend... until you told me that you love her and that you would wait for her. You once said that to me, and now you dont even think about what we once had, because to you, that was nothing. I knew i was just your rebound, but i just wanted to know what it was like. I was in it for the rush, that high you get. But little did i know there would be such a dark fall after. Were good. Weve both moved on. But, still i go back to us holding hands in the movie theatre, telling me you love me. Well, not really. You went back to her a few weeks later. Youre chasing someone who doesnt love you, and im chasing you, who doesnt love me. What made me this messed up that i dont look at the people who love me but only think about the one who doesnt? Because whats not healthy for you always has the best high, and once youve had a taste, youre hooked.