Latest Posts by kickedbythevoid - Page 5

I’ve got some social outings planned this week and I’m shitting bricks, I’m hanging out with my friend tomorrow arvo which I’m not too concerned about because I can just make believable excuses but I’m having a 2 night sleepover with my best friend and I have no idea how I’m gonna restrict without it causing red flags (they know about my disordered behaviours) but I refuse to binge again or eat over my cal limit so if anyone has any ideas for excuses or ways to discreetly get rid of food they would be greatly appreciated 🙏🙏

I love my therapist she’s chill as but my god does she not know how to deal with eating disorders, like I’ve opened up to her about it in the past but I don’t think she understands the severity of it. Like she dismisses it really easily and whenever I decline food in our sessions she says “are you dieting again?” in a very laugh out loud way if that makes sense. Like I know she’s not intentionally trying to dismiss me I don’t think but it makes me feel like I’m not disordered enough and that she must think I’m too fat for it to be a problem. It’s whatever though, just gives me more motivation to get worse. I’ll show her “dieting”.

Just finished my 20k steps, did a 10 minute stretch and stayed under my 450 cal limit we are so back and I am so ready for bed.

Goodnight lovelies may tomorrow be as, if not more successful as today has been <3

Need to cut this lower belly fat off of me NYAWWW

Nevermind guys I still feel shit as hell about my weight but I just absolutely demolished those 10k steps and am determined to get to 20k I’m locked back in 💪😛

Binging has set me back so much, I’m all the way back up to basically 54kg and my mindset and discipline has crumbled. If I hadn’t binged I would be underweight and would have gotten more than 20k steps by now but alas it’s 4:30pm and I just started walking, and my endurance and motivation has gone to shit so I’ll probably only get 10k steps at best.

I know sulking won’t get me anywhere, and I’m getting back on track but it’s just so hard to deal with.

I binged again, to no ones surprise. I’m such a failure, not just at this but at everything in my life, this is just making me realise that more than I usually would I guess. I don’t think fasting is gonna work out for me, I have too much of a mental block from it right now so I think I’ll just go back to 400 cals a day and progressively increase the intermittent fasting hours if that makes sense. I don’t even know, I’m just itching for some sort of control, a way to prove to myself that I can do something right.

I’m so disappointed in myself, my goal was to get to 50kg by the end of this month and now it’s just to get back to where I was.

I’m praying with every little bit of faith I have left that I lose enough weight from this week long fast to get back to 51kg.

I just finished having the worst binge episode of my life. I’ve gone from 51.9kg to 56kg in the span of 2 days, consumed more than 10,000 calories, 3k at least in the past hour.

It was so disgusting, I sat on the floor shoving food down my throat, throwing up then continuing eating. It spilled everywhere, ice cream all though my carpet, all through my clothes. I tried to purge it out but nothig came up but drool. I sat in that, the drool, leftover throw up and food for what felt like 30 minutes. My stomach hurts, it looks disgusting and I’ve lost my thigh gap.

I was 2 weeks binge free, and now I’ve gone and messed it all up. I don’t even know what to do. My only plan is to take all my laxatives, walk until my legs give out, and cut myself.

I’m never eating again.

The guilt is eating me alive, knowing that it was my decision to binge, to keep eating despite knowing I shouldn’t, I didn’t have too, no one would have even truly batted an eye if I hadn’t of.

Now it feels like I can’t stop eating, I’m not even hungry my brain just won’t stop thinking about it.

I hate myself so much.

Oh my god I binged so hard at that sleepover I feel sickly full, I’m sure I’ve gone straight back up to 53kg.

As of tomorrow I will be fasting until Wednesday, then going back to 400 max a day.

GUYS IVE MADE IT INTO 51KG TERRITORY IM ONLY LESS THAN HALF A KILO FROM BEING UNDERWEIGHT (I’m still considering myself 170cm until I get it properly checked at the doctors) !!

I’ve gotta be so careful at the sleepover tonight though, I’m not gonna restrict as much I don’t think because the last time I did they clocked that shit immediately but I’m gonna try stay under my BMR and then when I get back I’m gonna fast.

Wish me luck y’all !!

Now who’s gonna tell me why I be looking bmi 20+ when im in the low 18-high 17 range 😒😒

The binge urges have been hitting hard lately, thankfully I haven’t fully given into them but it’s been causing me to slack off and eat more than planned.

Im praying so hard to keep my restraint tonight when I get home from work, and for this weekend since I’m having a sleepover.

Next week I’m locking in so hard I’ve only got 2 shifts so I’m gonna try liquid fast as many days as I physically can so I can try speed run my goal of reaching 50kg by the end of this month.

WHAT A WEIGHT PLATEAU REALLY IS

a weight plateau happens due to metabolic adaptation; where you have been in a calorie deficit or doing extreme diets for months without breaks and your weight isn't going anywhere. this is your body's way of protecting you or conserving energy.

a weight plateau is not rare and can happen at any time, especially once your body adapts to a certain intake. but, if you are truly in a calorie deficit, you will lose fat even if the scale shows that you're maintaining your weight.

metabolic adaptation is only a temporary response, if you follow the things down below, you'll most likely see a change and your metabolism will start to improve (with time) !!!

some things you should check if you suspect you might've hit a plateau:

✿ your water intake ❀ some people confuse a weight plateau with water retention. it is EXTREMELY important to note that water retention CAN cause the scale to maintain and can cause you to look "bulky" or "fat". make sure you're staying hydrated and drinking at least 2-4 bottles of water daily !!! i promise there will be a major difference.

✿ start tracking your calories for a few days (if you haven't been doing that already) ❀ this one is obvious. but sometimes we're prone to underestimating our meals or forgetting things we've eaten throughout the day. sometimes it's just out of plain embarrassment, where we're too ashamed to write it down. but it is super important to document everything you've eaten, especially if it's to see if you're truly in a plateau or if it's just miscalculations. if you're not into calorie counting, then portion control can be a good alternative.

✿ start exercising ❀ it doesn't have to be anything extreme, just moving your body might help. it doesn't matter if you get 4k steps or do a 10 minute video, all movement is good movement and might help break your plateau.

✿ while on the topic of exercise, make sure the exercises that you're doing aren't causing muscle gain. ❀ i have pcos and it doesn't help that due to my genetics, i tend to build muscle extremely easily as well. when i do exercises like cycling or leg pilates or any exercise in general that engages one point of muscles too much, they start to appear bulky after a few days and the scale ends up maintaining or going up. i've learned that just walking at a moderate pace is what works best for me and ever since i stopped cycling, the scale started dropping and i've gotten skinnier. with that being said, find out if your exercises are the reason for the scale maintaining, pay close attention to measurements and/or before and after photos, and check for symptoms of pcos if you suspect you have it!

✿ if none of these are the culprit, then it's definitely time for a metabolism/refeed day (or week... or month) ❀ eat somewhere close to your maintenance (TDEE) for a few days and then after some time you can start restricting again… that way your weight on the scale will start dropping.

❀ if you want to avoid these plateaus in the future, it's important to implement at least 1 or 2 metabolism days a week AND follow everything that i mentioned before !!

❀ it should be noted that you do not have to have metabolism days, sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. it honestly just depends on the person. like for me, i've stayed around the same calorie intake since december 2024. i was steadily losing weight until one day the scale kept maintaining in february 2025 despite doing my workouts and being in my deficit. it was only until i started upping my water intake is when the scale started dropping again. i barely had to do any refeed days. however, this isn't guaranteed to work for another person. it all just depends on how your body reacts so do whatever works best for your body ♡

I had my mum measure my height yesterday and she said I was 171 cm, and I just weighed myself and I’m 52.2kg meaning that I could be bmi 17.9 but I’m scared that she mis measured me and I’m still 170cm and stuck in bmi 18 jail 😔

Great news guys I didn’t get weighed at the doctors appointment but my mum did ask on the way back and proceed to tell me that it doesn’t look like I’ve lost any weight 😀

Hello !!

Does anyone know how many calories would be in 1 slice of this sourdough? I’ve been putting it into lose it as 136 but I’m worried I’m underestimating.

Life has been so out of control lately and I’m barely losing so I’m just gonna focus on getting even more control over the one thing I can.

I’m gonna start OMAD’ing a monster and a slice of sourdough toast (roughly 370 all together if I’m calculating right) and burning at least 500 through steps/pilates.

I’ll also try water fast any day I have off work.

oh my god and I just remembered that im going to the doctors tomorrow and they might weigh me, what if I gain from eating so much today, I wanted to be underweight by the time I got weighed by a doctor again, how the fuck am I going to lose a kilo and a half overnight.

I want to up my intake to 800 a couple days a week so I can speed up my metabolism and get more protein in but I did it today and I feel horrible and out of control and like I’m going to gain so much weight. I don’t know how or if I’m going to be able to do it to be honest, and even worse, I’m having a big sleepover with my friends this weekend and I’m sure there will be so much food. I want to cry, I can’t do this, why can’t this weight just get the fuck off of me already.

I hate myself so much I don’t feel like I’m good enough I need to be working harder, I feel like I’m so far behind and I can’t do anything right and I feel so alone.

I just spent 30 minutes crying in the grocery store pacing between 2 aisles because I got overwhelmed by tbe calories of everything. I feel so humiliated, I didn’t even get what I wanted I just grabbed the closest safe food (which literally has almost the exact same amount of calories in it as what I had planned on getting) and got the fuck out of there.

From here on out I’m only getting food online I’m never stepping into a grocery store again.

BMI 18.1 IM SO CLOSE TO BEING UNDERWEIGJT BMI 17 LET ME INNNN

Considering the amount of medication I’ve taken today to rid myself of this water weight and bloating I better wake up underweight and with a squeaky clean bowel can I hear an amen 🙏

I can’t wait for the day I don’t have a muffin top while wearing my favourite jeans

Restricting while having a job is so hard I literally feel like I’m dying and on the verge of passing out and I still gotta go clean an entire department hot and dehydrated as hell in the span of 3 hours 💔💔

Sadly still painfully bloated y’all, my mums gonna get me some medication to try flush it out but if it doesn’t work I gotta go to the doctor #prayforme

Out of 53kg jail barely, although I’m happy I’ve atleast lost a little weight I’ve been losing so slowly and I’m constantly disappointed and scared that I won’t lose enough weight by my deadline. I need a tapeworm to eat away half of my body weight or something.

I’ve done almost everything to debloat today if I don’t wake up at least a kilo lighter i genuinely may go jump in front of a bus