Conversation That Tumblr Is Not Ready For:

AU where Gus’s parents do send him to Meitner and Shawn is so distraught and unhappy only being able to see Gus on weekends that he decides it's worth Becoming A Major Nerd and works his ass off to get into Meitner too. The hard part is just focusing enough and getting over his own issues with Oh God I'm Embracing The Genius DAD STOP SAYING YOU'RE PROUD I'M APPLYING MYSELF IT MAKES ME WANT TO STOP, not the actual Being Smart Enough part.

Gus is flabbergasted when Shawn shows up in class. Shawn made sure he got put in the same exact classes as Gus. They become a bit of a nightmare to the staff because they're both Incredibly Intelligent but also Incredibly Chaotic so the teachers KNOW these two are pulling mischief but they CAN'T PROVE IT

The rest of the stuff still happens as in the show with the Shawn running away after graduation and Gus becoming a pharmaceutical rep (alas, college didn't pan out like he'd hoped) and Psych and such- but now when Shawn and Gus investigate the case at Meitner they get invited as lectures because they're former students, and Jules and Lassie are confronted with "They went to the child prgenius prodigy school??? Both of them??? And excelled???? So they're like this on purpose?????"

Okay so I've been rereading a lot of Twilight fanfictions and I was just thinking of an AU so, here's my take on an AU!

A grunge/goth/punk Bella Swan comes waltzing onto Forks High School after getting off her motorcycle/or just a sick car (i’ll be honest here?? I don’t know motorcycles or cars, pfft. so let’s leave that up to your imagination) and everyone is like: “Ayo?? Cool girl?”

The Cullens hadn’t seen her yet so they’re just hearing about “The Chief’s daughter is pretty fire dudes” over and over again, and Jasper is buzzing with excitement from the school’s emotions, Alice and Emmett are curious but the little pixie vampire is more on Swan’s fashion sense while Emmett is just like “hm.. cooler than me?” Rosalie however is annoyed from hearing the same thing about a dumb human and Edward is getting a headache as well as a vampire can get.

(I completely forget how the films/books go so I think it’s lunch then biology? Oh well) So here comes Lunch where Bella is invited to Human Gang’s table and here comes Bella in all her glory, decked out with those black thick heel knee high boots with the buckles going up and down, you know what I mean? Her pants are the baggy kind, but not too baggy, of course they’re black too why not right? They’re sporting all sorts of chains and suspenders that are just hanging down on the sides. The pants are also kind of ripped and beneath those pants are fishnets? Maybe? Just an idea. Finally her shirt has some sort of red and black theme going on, but I’m imagining it’s either a band merch or those short sleeved red and black stripes. Her hair is probably going to remain brown too, but I could picture this Bella dyeing it some other color.

Eric (I think he was the one who invited her to the table?? Or was it one of the other people? Let’s just go with Eric this time lol) is like waving at her excitedly and she goes to sit with them and starts up conversation and this is where we start to know other things about this AU Bella:

IMO, this Bella likes to go by Swan or the scientific name Cygnus, which the others find weird but hey they’re weird too in their respective ways.

Swan doesn’t call Charlie, well, Charlie. She calls him dad, or father because this time around she kept in contact with Charlie throughout the years.

Swan has a backbone!!

Maybe she carries around a butterfly knife who knows.. (she totally does and she can do cool tricks with it.. maybe she has a collection?)

Swan is witty and can quip easily, she isn’t afraid to be affectionate. And yeah, while it’s cool to be a person with absolutely no flaws, she has them!! Swan can be pretty brutal without knowing and can become quick to anger. She isn’t really used to apologizing to others that’s not her mom (yeah we probably can agree that Renée cares about her daughter to some extent, but she probably also does some real crappy stuff that often leads Swan into apologizing to her instead of the other way around. Or something like that- maybe y’all understand what I’m saying?? pfft). Some other flaws too, use your imagination for those! You guys probably can come up with cooler stuff.

Charlie is supportive of his daughter of course he is and this Charlie does not let Swan do all of the household work!!

Charlie probably doesn’t know how to cook very well so Swan helps teach him to cook better (due to her mother probably using her as a doormat) and they take turns cooking. They also take turns buying groceries as well. (Let’s also point out in the book where Charlie congratulates Jacob for kissing Bella? Yeah if that happened this Charlie does not happen! He’ll get angry! And curse out Jacob!)

Anyways cue the Cullens walking in. Rosalie and Emmett walk in first, followed by Alice and Jasper, then Edward and out loud (at least just for Human Gang, we already know the vampires are going to hear this) Swan just goes, “Hey they look kind of weird- clothing wise. Why do they look so.. Fancy?” With a raised brow. [ Lauren responds with a snort, “you don’t look better yourself.” ] And then cues Jessica’s rant on the Cullens and introductions about them.

Edward is stiff as a board and is keeping his gaze on the table. “I can’t hear the new girl,” he told the mated couples, “and oh- her blood is stronger than the rest of them.” With a low groan he had his head in his hands. Before any of them could question him Alice had ushered him out of the Cafeteria before taking a seat with Jasper. It’s silent for a moment before she chirps up with: “Well, it seems like we’ll have a different school year!” With a bright grin.

Alice probably is admiring Swan’s style.

Jasper doesn't really have an opinion yet.

Rosalie and Emmett are getting amused by Swan’s constant teasing on Jessica’s crush on Edward (which also includes her insulting Edward [ “Dude! Look how he sat down?? He placed two fingers- from each hand mind you- on the table and then sat down. You like that? Who does that? He’s playing with a baby carrot too!” ] ).

Some other things is that Swan is probably chill with Jacob and pack (once figured out of course) and has a sibling like relationship, or just real good friends.

they were so funny for this

No, you misunderstood. When I said I can’t feel romantic or sexual attraction I wasn’t complaining, I was bragging.

best non canon ships in twilight

these are my personal favorite ships. if i rewrote twilight, these are the ships I’d include, as well as the little bit of plot i list to explain the ship.

bella x rosalie: obviously these two belong together and also rosalie is given actual character outside of “blonde bitch” in my rewrite. they have a baby but when it happens they’re ready for it and also no one imprints on it. they are perfect mothers

edward x emmett: in my version rosalie did save emmett, but he turned out to not Feel Like That for rosalie; however, he thought eddie boy was fine af, so they got together instead. rosalie spends a century by herself instead of edward (yes it’s sad but plot)

leah x angela: must i explain this one?? they meet via bella and jake’s friendship and they crush on each other for a long time but start dating by the third book

alice x jessica: HEAR ME OUT. jasper and alice have NO CHEMISTRY. they can’t be together. also alice loves to dress bella up and bella hates it. If alice had jessica to spoil with clothes and makeup, they’d both be thrilled. alice would go all out to make jessica happy and they’d be the perfect couple. thank you for your time

charlie x billy x carlisle: carlisle was turned as a 35+ year old in this version of twilight so it’s not weird. they have a huge subplot and in the end charlie decides he loves both of them so a poly V it is. esme exists, but more as like a best friend to carlisle, like platonic co-parents.

tanya x esme: two vampire moms kicking butt. enemies to lovers, but like way before the plot starts. they spend a lot of time apart but are very in love.

kate x jasper: garrett still comes around and it’s a big love triangle and in the end jasper and garrett run off together. kate is sad obviously but then she meets victoria (bc victoria realizes james was manipulating her and when he dies she’s like oh hell yah i’m free) and they fall in love

jake x mike newton: (this one is kind of a joke.) head canon that mike is young for his grade so he’s like 16 and jacob is 15/16 so they’re the same age. mike is so immature that this feels like it might as well be canon. they meet in new moon just like in canon, and both guys realize they think the other guy is way cooler than bella, so they both move on from her and pursue one another. they’re shy tho so bella is the unwilling middle man. she feels like a high schooler helping middle schoolers out

Irina x Laurent: technically this is canon but we never actually see them together so like i ship them and they’re together the entire series

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

what are you even supposed to do when your friends who are dating kiss in front of you Like do i just stand there or

I like to think Bella has so many vampire questions that she just randomly thinks of that she has a note in her phone that she just adds each thought to, and each time she goes over to the Cullen house they play a quiz show type game with buzzers where Bella asks her questions and they buzz in to answer. The points aren’t reset at the end of each game so the numbers just keep getting higher and higher

• Edward keeps saying “you can just ask me questions instead of all this stuff” referring to the buzzers, after this he was permanently disqualified for ‘being a bit of a dick’

• Emmett and Jasper are usually either tied or first or are very narrowly in first or second

• Emmett lost 25 points once for trying to buy points by dropping a grizzly bear at a human Bella’s feet ‘just in case she wanted to try’ much to Edwards dismay she found it hilarious and just patted the bear on the head before telling Emmett he should finish it on her behalf

• Jasper also lost 25 points for trying to find out questions beforehand. He kept subtly asking Bella her thoughts on ‘vampire stuff’ and made her feel all warm and fuzzy, she wasn’t happy about this one

• Although the entire family is involved, Esme usually just comes up to Bella later to elaborate on people’s answers. Rosalie is only sometimes interested but gets a kick out of Emmetts entertainment. Carlisle usually sits back with Esme but you’ll occasionally hear a very distinct buzzer away from where Emmett and Jasper stand, Carlisle is sitting in an armchair like some sort of benevolent king with an answer ready and surprisingly humorous

• Alice is very eager, but gets most of her joy from seeing Jasper get points rather than answering things herself. Though if anything even similar to fashion comes up she sees it and buzzes in so fast Bella has barely finished her question

So late the party has left.

Ok, I’ve had this submission from @starmage2 for ever and just got around to it now.

As a heads up I’ve changed the ‘Alien invasion ’ to Gorilla Grodd invasion instead. Same general thing though.

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Paris was not a place the flash visited often or even with purpose. A city of calm and peace that was unaffected by the world’s crazies, maniacs and supervillians. There has never been a reason to be in Paris, for anyone from the league. Aside from maybe taking a superspeed shortcut or flying well above the city to make time to ones real destination.

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Oh no, not a link where you can watch the entirety of What’s New Scooby Doo! Who on earth would post something like this???

And one for 46 different Scooby Doo movies including the beloved live action one from 2002 and it’s sequel, Monsters Unleashed??? For shame of me!