A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.
Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.
What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.
Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.
What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.
Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.
What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.
Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.
It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
-Xanthe
you know what, shoutout to the neurodivergent people with "scary" symptoms.
the ones who:
-say dark things without realizing
-talk to themselves
-have homicidal thoughts
-get really, really angry
-make others uncomfortable on accident
-don't tolerate bullshit
-can't/won't mask
-have dark interests
-have genuinely hurt others before
-have been in a psych ward before
-obsess over people
-have intrusive thoughts about hurting people
-have sexual intrusive thoughts
-don't really care about others much
-always choose themselves first
-have low/no empathy
-are seen as creepy or scary by others
this goes out to my folks with autism that isn't "uwu cute". personality disorder havers. schizospec people. ocders. odd and ied havers. and anyone and everyone else.
this post does not support intentionally hurting people. but people who have hurt others in the past and have changed or are trying to change/in the process of changing are more than welcome here.
fun fact if you have a hobby you are not a narcissist. if you have a favourite colour you are not a narcissist. if you have a tumblr mutual you are not a narcissist. if you try to do anything good you are not a narcissist. if you have a family you are not a narcissist.
get BACK on the abusive grind, you're slipping, alpha.
Ok yes "more male characters with big naturals" but are you normal about trans men/transmasc folks who have tits? Are you normal about them not binding? About them not wanting top surgery or not wanting to bind?
Are you normal about cis men with gynecomastia? Are you normal about gynecomastic men not binding, or not wanting top surgery?
ARE YOU NORMAL ABOUT REAL LIFE MEN WITH BIG NATURALS?
NPD + BPD culture is needing to be useful and extraordinary or else no one will need nor want me
.
the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.
depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.
ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.
and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.
mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.
but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.
(Source)
On February 8th, this nonbinary child was violently beaten by three cis girls. The school did not call them an ambulance after the beating was stopped, and they later died in the hospital from head trauma. They have also been deadnamed and misgendered in their obituary and in the news. As the author of the article puts it:
How is that not national news? A 16 year old beaten to death in a public school bathroom? By other students. All these unanswered seemingly obvious questions about what transpired, and how the adults involved acted. That should be every headline. In fact, almost every local outlet covering the story misgender and deadnames Nex, using their same assigned at birth. The indignities pile on. We don’t yet know if Nex’s nonbinary identity is directly tied to this incident. But, my God, it sure matters to me that this would happen to any child. A nonbinary kid assaulted in a girl’s bathroom. That outcome from the narrative of anti-trans rhetoric these past years. Still why wasn’t this story breaking news? It involves a nonbinary student in a public school. And school violence and school police resource officers. It involves the deep fear so many trans youth have shared with me about their schools.
possible npd and bpd culture is getting tired of being nice for everyone else's sake and just wanting to be yourself fully.
i want to be mean to be mean, but i don't like the idea of upsetting my friends. (idrc in the moment but afterwards i feel bad.)
it might entail me a dick and harming people on purpose but i'm just so exhausted by everything.
.
where is the love for people who are manipulative by nature and are trying their best to fight it? we tell cluster Bs all the time that they're not inherently manipulative or toxic but what about those of us who are? some of us are inclined towards being toxic or manipulative by nature. some of us lack essential social functions like empathy and compassion, and it's not because we're evil, it's because repeated trauma degraded our brain's ability to perform those functions. it can be a constant, exhausting battle to not want to be cruel, but to have to fight your very nature to avoid cruelty. i think that those of us who have to carry that burden deserve love.
If you're convinced that narcissists are uncaring cold-blooded monsters, you never had a person with NPD trust you enough and it kinda shows why.
i think my most narcissistic trait is the fact that i would be uncomfortable being friend with another person with NPD because i have to be The One And Only Narcissist™️
Crow | 29 | System | Diagnosed BPD | Questioning NPD | Physically Disabled
156 posts