Guys I Just Met Other Boys, They Aren’t That Scary!! They Didn’t Even Bite Me To Death. Yay 💖

when i say i’m from ukraine, people assume i live somewhere else now. when i say i live in ukraine, they assume i’m somehow immune to war, and there’s a logical division between a ukrainian they chat with on discord and a ukrainian on the news. bitches my yaoi is written from the bomb shelter

hey sexy. I can tell by the frequency of your blog updates that you are once again avoiding it all

There's two kinds of crows that visit our yard.

Funky little guy on his stupid walk for his stupid mental health.

And

I HAVE SEEN EMPIRES RISE AND FALL AND YOURS IS NO DIFFERENT

And we love them both.

If there’s one tip I can give to writers of all calibers, new or veterans (since a lack of this is even the case with published authors), it must be:

Watch out for your subtext as much as you can.

No matter how genius the worldbuilding, no matter how 3-dimensional the characters, your text will carry a subconscious message, and you have to be careful with it. The way you phrase things, the way you describe certain groups of people does matter a lot.

If you like it or not, your book will send big messages, even if you believe it doesn’t. Make sure you know exactly what those messages are. Be intentional about your subtext. It’s worth a lot.

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

do you torture the character you relate to most and recreate your own abuse in fiction to cope or were your needs and feelings acknowledged as a child

I love you mean girls in literature, I love you manipulative and scheming elder sisters of the protagonists, I love you ambitious women washing damned spots from bloody hands, I love you “she was always the perfect/favorite child,” I love you Emma Woodhouses and Caroline Bingleys, I love you mean girls with complex and morally questionable but ultimately understandable motivations, I love you mean girls they called evil and never bothered to explain at all, I love you mean girls who are not even girls, I love you queen bees, bullies, cheerleading captains, and heads of the school play in teen flicks, I love you weapons of war and calculating politicians and manipulators of royal court, I love you sirens and succubi and vampiresses, I love you changed by the end, I love you still the same bitch as before-

Taking a 5-second break from the Bagginshield angst to bring you this meme I created after an all-nighter, enjoy.

or don’t be kind. Don’t make them learn a lesson. Make them worse with no turning back. Let them never be able to deal with what they went through. Make it take years until they are finally able to take a breath again without wanting to die. That’s what life is like sometimes. Merciless. Nonsensical. Painful.

Let them stay up night after night just asking why? Why me? Why me? Why me?

Every happy ending has to be fought for desperately, and even then there’s no guarantee that you get it.

Be mean to your characters.

What do they take for granted? Take it away from them.

The one thing they know for certain? Make them doubt it.

Their worst fear? Throw it at their faces.

Make their plans fail. Make them cry. Make them question things and then learn about them and the way they react in the process.

Be mean to your character. Then be kind to them for a while, because after all that they may deserve it.