Latest Posts by introspective-in-somnia - Page 5

3, 4, 9, 16! :D - Alex

Thank you very much for the ask!

3 - How long have you known you were otherkin?

That's honestly a little difficult to answer; I think I've known on some level for around 7-8 years now, but never accepted myself until the last year or so, when I made a complete turnaround and not only got myself involved in the idea of psychological kin, but spiritual as well. It's been quite a long journey, especially in the middle of those 7-8 years when the concept wasn't even in my mind, but I'm glad to finally seek self-acceptance. 7-8 years on a larger scale, but for me to acknowledge that I knew and to work with it? 2 or so years.

4 - What reminds you of home?

Difficult to say as my kin runs more psychological than spiritual, but I gave this one some thought and feel I have a few answers! Some smaller things in my daily life give me little reminders, my stacks of books marking that the desire for reading and learning never quite left. Scents are also big for me! I have a few candles and some incense on my altar, with the more subtle scents tugging at me a bit more.

Larger feelings, unsurprisingly, come from the replicated shirt and wings I've made. I've worn the shirt publicly multiple times, but the wings stay firmly on my wall. I have a pair of antennae I made as well and while I haven't worn those nearly as much, part of me strongly wants to wear them at least once to see if I feel comfortable with them.

The strongest feelings come from things I don't have control over at all. There are certain ways the clouds roll in that make me recall flight and certain songs that evoke strong responses from me, both positive and negative (and I do plan to post at least two playlists with the songs that do this). Looking over royal architecture is one of the strongest, feeling so small in such large, ostentatious halls, more than anything wanting to find myself pacing them again.

Overall, I suppose, in a sense, "home" is less a location and more of a concept for me.

9 - What was your first kintype?

Difficult to say! The only one I can think of would be the M.ettaton from the Und.erfell AU of Un.dertale; that was the first time I ever considered the idea that I might be otherkin, but never pursued the concept any further, just eyeing it with wary curiosity. Interestingly, while that linkage was definitely a work of projection and trauma response, so is my current kintype; the difference is in how intensely I experience this current type vs how loosely I interacted with the previous one. I'm not sure if I would call it a kintype, honestly.

16 - What are some challenges that you face with being otherkin?

The biggest ones were the ones imposed by myself! One of the biggest initial hurdles was that accepting my kin identity made me feel like I was losing touch with reality. Truth be told, my awakening to my identity happened through intense dissociative experiences I fought to pathologize - my therapist was the one who suggested I take a step back and look at it in a more spiritual light (so as not to condemn myself for my experiences). I still believe I may be experiencing a form of multiplicity, but the experiences are no longer intense and distressing; I no longer feel strongly disconnected when I have shifts.

I suppose another is simply existing as is - as someone in the otherkin community, a community which has been highly mocked in the past, the mocking being the first thing people likely think of when they hear the word. It made me want to cringe at myself, but being part of several other groups that tend to be stigmatized - autistic, trans, amongst other things - helped me begin to move beyond that. I still hold fear over what others may think of me, but at the end of the day, my behavior isn't harmful and it makes me happy, so I'm willing to be more open about it.

More current challenges? I would say incorporating my identity into my more daily life. I do use the name Shai in my day to day, and went through the two-hour process of getting a tattoo of the wings I no longer possess, but part of me very much wants to go further. It's difficult, being a feminine trans man with butterfly accessories, but I would consider it to be the price I pay to feel more at home - the people closest to me know I am a man at the very least.

Otherkin Ask Meme

1. What are your kintypes?

2. What are your strongest kintypes?

3. How long have you known you were otherkin?

4. What reminds you of home?

5. Have you ever drawn or written about your kinself?

6 Are you “out” as otherkin in real life?

7. Do you have any kinfriends? Are they the same kintype or different?

8. Do you have a favourite otherkin blogger? who?

9. What was your first kintype?

10. What was your most recent kintype?

11. Do you eat or drink food that reminds you of your kintype(s) would eat?

12. Do you dress like your kintype(s)?

13. Give a fact about your kintype

14. Is there media that reminds you of your kintype? (ie dogkin and Lady and the Tramp)

15. Is there mythology about your kintype? Do you have a favourite story?

16. What are some challenges that you face with being otherkin?

17. What is some advice you would share with someone who has recently Awakened?

18. Do you ever doubt your kintype?

19. Have you identified with a kintype in the past that you no longer have kinfeels with?

20. Do you hold memories with past-lives?

Why would you bring a man back to life and take away all of his defining features except for his neurotic, debilitating anxiety

Hilariously, every time I do something that makes me question my kin (would he really like or do xyz?), the very act of questioning or loosely policing myself is exactly what he would have done

Icon update! I wanted an icon that reflects how I've become much more comfortable in my identity 💖

With an edit where the hair more closely resembles my own:

Thinking about my love for categorization in terms of my altar, all my gemstones and incense and candles and how they all must mean something to me

Would I be forgiven for including homestuck music in my upbeat "I love being you" playlist

I was initially going to drop a kin playlist, but as I've become a lot more comfortable with my identity I've been making a second and third playlist for various emotions I've been feeling and wonder, would there be any interest in seeing 3 separate kin playlists?

I was initially going to drop a kin playlist, but as I've become a lot more comfortable with my identity I've been making a second and third playlist for various emotions I've been feeling and wonder, would there be any interest in seeing 3 separate kin playlists?

I've now had two (2) dreams in the past week about pulling together my cosplay in public, help

I love being a psychological kin who later went spiritual, I love this man, I am this man, I've dissected his psyche and found myself and I was always meant to have found myself, I don't recognize myself in seeing him but I sometimes expect to see him when I look in the mirror.

I am doing the strangest, most intimate waltz with this character and I would have it no other way.

Userbox that says "this user is an insect"

I've actually made a small list of these things on a whiteboard and, as silly as it feels, there's something immensely satisfying about having written it out

Thinking I may very much lean into fictionkinity in daily life as I think it may help self care feel less like a chore.. I believe he had specific traits due to insect features, traits which I still possess due to my hEDS, so I think some simple transference of tasks would be helpful for me.

More liquids (ant and butterfly diet), better skincare (moisture necessary for overall insect health), care that is specific to me that feels so much more natural than the brute force I've been trying to apply

Seeing some people seem to focus a bit more on semantics, which is at least a little funny to me; I've always referred to myself with the "kinnie" moniker, but still do very genuinely identify as fictionkin

Thinking I may very much lean into fictionkinity in daily life as I think it may help self care feel less like a chore.. I believe he had specific traits due to insect features, traits which I still possess due to my hEDS, so I think some simple transference of tasks would be helpful for me.

More liquids (ant and butterfly diet), better skincare (moisture necessary for overall insect health), care that is specific to me that feels so much more natural than the brute force I've been trying to apply

As if I haven't thought about getting long scarves or bunches of fabric to trail down my back the way my wings were, as if I haven't thought about wearing my antennae in public

hello and welcome... to binarystarcare !

this is a (newly formed) kinhelp style blog catering to otherkin, fictionkin, factkin, and system members ! were open to any sources and dont have many blacklisted things ^-^ this blog is run by (currently) two mods - mod hunter and mod ranboo! we both offer different things - such as aesthetics, tarot and oracle readings, and stimboards !

all request info - and more mod info - can be found on our carrd !!

(ps this post is also serving as a promo post - please reblog this if you wanna help us out ^-^)

Delete this if it's weird but your post about naming your blog after one of the royals guards from hxh reminded me of something. So I am part of a DID system and some of the alters have many traits/appearance of my abusers, including some with the same names. They'd do things that were harmful as a way of keeping everyone safe. Anyways, recently our host watched hxh and one of those parts really connected with Neferpitou going from this absolutely inhumane monster of sorts to slowly learning how empathy and compassion works and has now changed their name from their original name of our abuser they're based off to Pitou instead now. Anyways I'm happy for them and just wanted to share that with ya

I held onto this ask for a while bc I was debating how detailed I wanted my response to be, but I think this is a story I've been wanting to tell for a while and if there was ever a time to fully discuss this, it would be here; the naming and themeing extends to myself as well as my blog - I do go by the name Shai irl, though I'm a little picky with where I choose to use it over the name I've had for longer (Rigel). Before I go into any more detail, I want to congratulate you for that development! It sounds like a moment of positive growth, and I'm glad you got to experience that.

The short answer is that I've basically taken my experiences with dissociation and something that may be multiplicity and fully redirected it all into a sense of spirituality. My therapist had encouraged me to not pathologize it; I was just hammering at my own personal experiences and being fixated on feeling like something was wrong with me and needed to be fixed - normal people don't experience thoughts and feelings that don't belong to them. With that being said, a large part of my recovery work was/is with acceptance; I was forced to mask a lot of things while growing up (autism, physical disability, queerness, etc) and there was a huge push from my family to seem as "normal" as possible, and now I'm actively undoing that and my work with being in the otherkin community is a massive cornerstone of that work. I identified very heavily with shaiapouf and my therapist actually watched hxh so we could use pouf as a therapy tool for me. Me naming myself after him is a huge gesture of the love I was able to give myself via my coping process - recognizing him in my trauma, and working with him to recover.

The longer answer is that I've experienced dissociation that leans towards multiplicity for a number of years now, with aforementioned thoughts and feelings included. I never had any memory loss, and the experience of another person being with me wasn't well developed enough for the definition of an alter, so I felt stuck with an experience I had no words for and no way of relating to other people with similar experiences. I remember describing it as feeling possessed, like there was suddenly another consciousness present with my own. These experiences are a lot less intense now, and I attribute that to my acceptance of them instead of pushing them away in fear. It was a while before I said anything to my therapist and was genuinely mortified because it felt like something was very seriously wrong with me and I had to fix it at all costs (with the idea of needing to "fix" things that were "wrong" with me or my life being a repeating theme as well).

Over time, as I stopped pushing everything away, I was able to start seeing where the emotions and thoughts that came with the episodes (not necessarily triggering them) were coming from, but still struggled to accept them as my own when they felt so foreign. Acceptance has brought me a long way and we've now teased out that this is a massive way for me to process not just my trauma, but the grief accompanying it.

My therapist was the one who had initially suggested I take a spiritual approach to this, and I found that in the otherkin community, where, upon actually looking at the original contexts of some of the words used in the community, found things I'd been describing to my therapist over a year ago. I'd prior been fond of the idea of reincarnation and fully embraced it in this process. My first (and so far only) tattoo is of his wings, I'll carry him with me for the rest of my life; I derived one of my names from his own. This character has been highly influential in my life and I've fully embraced him for it. He means a lot of things to me - reflection of my own trauma, the power and rage I wish I could have demonstrated while in the process of being traumatized, the delicate masculinity I wish to have as a trans man, and much more I'm sure. A lot of my episodes seem to happen when helplessness kicks in, like something to help distance myself from my pain; I feel him in righteous fury when I know I deserve better. Not all of it is bad though, I had one while I was looking at Christmas lights a few months ago and felt like I was looking at the world for the first time, simple delight as if holding someone else's hand and showing them.

All in all, I thank you for sharing your story and for giving me a place to share some of mine.

🦋

Hello all. You may call me Shai; I am 24, use he/him pronouns, and am aromantic and asexual.

I've been identifying with the kin community for roughly two years now, and have designated this blog as a space for me to explore my thoughts and feelings a bit more fully, in a judgment-free space. This blog is also where I'll collect imagery and posts that I identify with. I may occasionally post my own art as well. Some other things you may like to know about me include:

✨️ Psychological and spiritual kin - my identity as fictionkin developed as a method of processing grief and trauma, but I have leaned into the spiritual aspect as well as I find it comforting.

✨️ I am being led to believe that my kin identity is also a result of dissociation, specifically that my kintype constitutes a dissociative fragment.

✨️ Only one kin - Sh.aiapouf from H.unter x Hu.nter.

✨️ Chronically ill - I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and, interestingly enough, I use it to connect with my kintype. This condition is genetic and affects all systems in my body, so this is something I will continually discuss here.

✨️ This is a sideblog, my main I follow back and interact from is @/ad.hd-sh.aiapouf

While I am a bit more quiet on this blog, I am online quite frequently and am open for any type of conversation or discussion; in spite of the formality, I swear I'm friendly 💖

Tags for reference:

🦋 Musings 🦋 -> talk tag

👑 -> interior architecture for royal buildings and things that remind me of the past

❤️ -> imagery falling under the lovecore aesthetic

I think it's at least a bit funny that my chronic illness makes me feel more connected to my kintype

The registration schedule for Othercon 2023 is up!

What is Othercon? It's a virtual alterhuman convention that takes place on Discord on the 2nd weekend of August. This will be our 4th year running!

⏳Staff: March 1st - April 30th

⏳Artists/dealers: May 1st - June 30th

⏳Panelists: June 1st - June 30th

⏳Attendees: July 1st - Aug 6th

⏳Convention dates: Aug 11th - 13th

If you are a panelist, then we advise not waiting until the window opens to prepare! It's best to plan ahead and have your idea ready to go so you don't miss any deadlines.

If you are an attendee, set your calendar! Lots of potential attendees are sad yearly from missing registration.

While I don't experience anything I would think of as species dysphoria necessarily, I do think about how much I've always enjoyed things draped over my shoulders/trailing down my back due to my pressure stim

I'm finding a lot of moments of melancholy accompanying the shifts, looking up at the moon in the night sky as I've done so many times before

Other traditions have their symbols on necklaces, and I think that's what my butterfly choker is akin to

Something I'm thinking about that I feel is greatly appealing to me most is the idea of "one soul, multiple iterations". Cut from the same cloth and passed forward.

I am beginning to legitimately consider discussing this with very trusted people in my life because this is a large part of my identity and I feel it would allow me to feel more understood, especially because this has been such a large piece of my trauma recovery

I've also had an interesting time thinking over the few memories I do have and realizing that they all fill in gaps in my current lived life

Little peek at my altar ✨️

It's been quite some time since I've last written here, and I'm excited to announce how I've been doing! After over a year of work, I've finally become much more comfortable in my identity as fictionkin and have incorporated it into my life as a spiritual belief ✨️ I plan to open up a bit more about my thoughts and feelings regarding this because I spent quite a long time in therapy sorting out how I felt about this, and have made the decision to no longer push this aspect of myself away as it's been crucial to my recovery and to understanding myself. I'm grateful for the existence of a community that's allowed me to be able to make sense of my thoughts and emotions, and plan to have a bit more on this blog as I continue to work with my identity 💖