Ed Vent - Blog Posts
TW// VENT, ED, and FAMILY BULLYING/ABUES
This is so stupid, but I want to cry so fucking badly just because I’ve gained weight and it makes my stomach look bigger. And I can’t complain to anyone because they’ll say ‘oh stop being dramatic it’s just a little stomach.’ LIKE BITCH SHUT UP!! I have an eating disorder and I’ve been gaining weight, because of stress and I’m not fucking happy. I also hate venting to my mom because she’ll say some cheap bullshit to make me feel better, but it doesn’t and it only makes me feel worse!!
I hate more the fact I was I skinny kid to, but my own aunt still called me fat. LIKE FUCK YOU TO BITCH IM SORRY NO ONE LOVES YOU!!! Ahhhhg!! I’m so sick and tired of having to hear people say ‘ohhh your not fat your beautiful.’ KYS now just shut up.
This is so stupid but I just needed this off my chest
Btw I’m 136lbs now and I feel really dumb for complaining, but I’m just not happy I want to be at least 100lbs because I’m 5’3ft.
Why did I have to have this body?! Everything is wrong. Everything is too big and I feel like I'm suffocating in my skin. Why do I take up so much space? Why am I so loud? Why can't I just be small? I'm a foot taller than all my cousins my age. My feet are bigger than my dad's and he's 6'4". Why is my nose so big. And my hands. And my chest. And my stomach. Why the fuck is it that I got the short end of the deal and now I'm huge?! I wish I could cut it off. I wish I could evaporate until I don't exist anymore. Maybe that's what I have to do.
Yeah, because that's EXACTLY how the ed community works 🤡
Nah, we don't make those "cute aesthetic" diets (this article talks about the sanrio-themed ones) posts and recipes to help each other in our journeys and recovery, we want to INFLUENCE LITTLE KIDS AND INFECT THEM WITH OUR EDS 🤡🤡🤡
"Why do you always feel so guilty after eating?"
Meanwhile my YT reccomendations:
"WHAT I EAT IN A DAY AS A FAT PERSON CRINGE COMPILATION🐷🐷🐷"
"FAT ACCEPTANCE CRINGE 💀"
"BODY POSITIVE ACTIVISTS ARE DYING"
Being chubby/overweight is just so unfair, people bash and disrespect you no matter what you do.
No matter what food you eat (if you eat unhealthy, they hate on you saying how "they could never", but if you eat healthy, they think you're lying and eat much more when no one is around)
No matter if you exercise or not (if you don't, they yell at you to go to the gym, but if you do, they either don't believe you or make fun of you for being a fat person in the gym)
If you have an ED, they don't believe you (because society thinks only skinny people struggle with them) and claim you just eat too much.
If you say you like being fat and feel comfortable in your body, you're automatically promoting morbid obesity to everyone around (or have a sick fetish for fat people)
If you say you dislike being fat and plan to go on a diet, barely anyone believes in you. Most people just make bets on how long your little "diet" will last.
Society does all those shitty stuff to you and then say they do it because they "worry about your health" but you know damn well they're lying (because in cases where a skinny girl literally promotes pro-ana behaviors and starvation, no one bats an eye)
Thank you mom for critisizing me for weighing my food. That definitely doesn't make me feel any more insecure and stupid 👍
"Dude, wdym?? You're super pretty!! What made you feel so insecure about your figure?"
Answer: the way fat people are portrayed in movies and scenes where they eat themselves half-blind like literal pigs. Having to watch them as a child started it all.
I can easily tell most movie directors think fat people's only personality trait is eating 24/7 and it hurts.
Binging sucks. I can't have a life because all I do is eat until I can move and then when I can I can't go anywhere cause I'm ashamed of how my body looks after binging and I'm too lazy to clean myself too. Aaaaaagh.
Day 28/100
// 29/08/23// - TW ED - today was hard. I woke up knowing it was a hard day, I didn't wanted to eat so my bf had to came home and bring some food. I was feeling like it was the right thing, that I deserved that but then I got home after bandoneon class and argued with my mom for "using a young boy like him (he's younger) to eat all of his food while I could just eat whatever I find at home like plain cookies" so yeah... I decided to skip dinner and just go to bed and watch To the bone
Went to bandoneon class
Went to sign language class
Teo came home with food bc I didn't wanted to eat
Watched half an episode of Stranger Things at Teo's place after class
Watched To the Bone
At first, they joke about my weight, and then they worry about why I st@rve myself
not enough people realize fasting is easier than restricting. if you're also an all or nothing type of person like me it will be easier to just not eat at all instead of obsessing over food and edging a binge the whole time you're restricting lol
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER
I decided that I am kot gonna date things lmao. Kinda feeling mentay frustrated, so I hoped a break would make it better. It, in fact, did not.
I am in one discord server and people are really really nice, but I feel like I abandoned that server and I just dunno. I'd like a community where I can ramble about my silly things and people motivate eachother to push through things. Don't get me wrong, like I said they are really nice, motivating and everything. I just feel like I didn't connect much, but that can be just me.
Anyhow, a gaming-ana server is what I wanna make. For sillies that are like me idk. I might just need more friends lmaoo.
Also I have been fasting for two days now but my period just decided to come, so ugh. Fortunately whenever it happens I don't feel much hunger, so I can just fast and be happy. I am planning on going til saturday because I am meeting up with a friend that day and we already made plans to visit a café. Im sure he will make a suggestion to eat something somewhere too.
So yes yippee. That is for this update. I might restart the logging.
I JUST REACHED MY FIRST GW!!!! AAAAA
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 2.
I ate only this morning and fasted the whole day. Tomorrow is another sucky one because I accompany mom to her work place then go to school so she will ask me to bring something and knowing myself I will eat it probably, but let's hope for the best!
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
➁ Apples (211g) - 110 cal
➀ Black coffee with ice - 0 cal
➀ Tuna-egg-mayo sandwich - 280** cal
➀ Pickwick green tea (strawberry & lemongrass) - 0cal
Water - 3l/2l
Full - 390** cal
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
Steps - 8510/10000 - 346 cal
Exercise - No - 0 cal
Burned - 346 cal
*edit - math is not my strong suit and i added the tomorrow's sandwich's stats too...
**edit 2 - I forgot that I need to count in percentage when I multiply (my last math lesson was 2 years ago)
How can I trigger the honeymoon phase again😭😭
Why am I like this? I know I need to lose and I just binge and eat all the sweet things even though I literally don't like sugary sweet things...
I gained 1kg back in two days even tho I barely ate. Time to fast it down and more 💕✨️
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ edblr intro!
I support recovery! Please take care of yourselves!
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧
♡ Via/Anonyma
♡ 20 years old
♡ 5'4 - 165 cm
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧
₊˚⊹♡ hw: 187 lbs - 85 kg
₊˚⊹♡ 1st gw: 165 lbs - 75 kg - REACHED on OCT. 5
₊˚⊹♡ 2nd gw: 154 lbs - 70 kg - REACHED on DEC. 6
₊˚⊹♡ 3rd gw: 143 lbs - 65 kg
₊˚⊹♡ 4th gw: 132 lbs - 60 kg
₊˚⊹♡ 5th gw: 121 lbs - 55 kg
₊˚⊹♡ 6th gw: 110 lbs - 50 kg
₊˚⊹♡ ugw: 100 lbs - 45 kg
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🤍 ɞ ｡° ✧
I play games like resident evil, dmc, metal gear, but I also like watching anime and cartoons.
Looking for moots and friends to interact with! ₊ ⊹