Latest Posts by kickedbythevoid - Page 3

Woke up feeling like shit but weighed myself and MY PRAYER BASICALLY CAME TRUE IM AT A NEW LW 50.4 / BMI 17.4 only 2.4kg away from my gw 😼

I’ve consumed 250 calories of essentially liquid, burned 330 and have taken 15+ laxatives if I don’t shit absolutely everything out of my system and wake up a kilogram lighter istg I will jump into oncoming traffic.

Honestly so excited for school starting tomorrow, I love the routine and it gives me something to do and think about besides my disordered eating :)

It’s really hit me over the past couple days how much my disordered eating has taken over my life, it’s like I no longer have a personal life outside of it. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep all I can think about is food and weight, I spend my days inside rather rotting in my bed scrolling through ED content or I’m walking for hours on end, waiting for tomorrow to come to see if I’m any closer to my GW. I don’t have any hobbies and I self isolate, going days without talking to anyone besides my immediate family.

I don’t even know how to feel, it’s like I don’t feel anything at all. I’m honestly pretty ambivalent to it, in retrospect it’s depressing but like Im still fat, it’s only been 7 weeks since I relapsed and I don’t feel like I’m sick enough, I still have so far to go and so much to lose.

My laxatives didn’t work because I took less than my tolerance so I have to wait until tomorrow to weigh myself now😔

Also I’m so mad at myself I was blessed with such a good day yesterday like I had the energy to get my 20k steps and wasn’t hungry at all but I still decided to eat and not take it as an opportunity to fast RAHHH

Whatever, today I’m not feeling great and don’t have a lot of energy so I’m just gonna try get my 10-15k steps and liquid fast.

omfg just wasted 100 cals on an unfulfilling bland as wrap I’m gonna lose it this is why I stick to my OMAD routine

Not feeling as exhausted today yippeee !! I am absolutely determined to get 20k steps AND get in a proper workout 😼

My legs absolutely disgust me.

On another happier note though THE BINGE PASSED THROUGH ME AND IM DOWN TO 51kg AGAIN AMEN HALLELUJAH

I hate food and I hate myself, lord have mercy on me and let my binge run through me by morning so that I don’t gain

Why the fuck didn’t I just go to sleep I had a mini binge on fucking noodles and mini Easter eggs now I’m at roughly 800 cals for the day and I just want more

Currently have consumed roughly 400 cals today and my god are the binge urges killing me, I’ve also only took 10,000 steps so I am not in a negative net sadly.

Gonna take like 10+ lax then try and just go to sleep early, hopefully tomorrow will be a much more productive day !!

All I wanted was to OMAD a hot cross bun but ofc they are all sold out smh😔

omfg I forgot to take my Fitbit off before going on tbe swings and now it thinks I’ve done 12,000 steps when in reality I’ve probably only done like 5k at most RAJHHHH

Does anyone have any tips on how to fix severe exhaustion? I’m not sick but I’ve felt like death for some reason the past 2 days and it’s preventing me from getting my steps in because moving feels borderline impossible.

My prayers have been answered I lost a kilo overnight, laxatives what would I do without you🙏🙏

Now I’m only 0.7kg away from my pre binge weight, Im gonna work my ass off today and take even more laxatives so hopefully I can lose as much if not more than I did today and wake up at a new LW !!

Praying that I somehow lose like a kilo and a half overnight so I can get back down to the lower end of 51kg 🙏🙏

There is so much I want to eat but changing my OMAD routine feels so scary ☹️

After a particularity gruelling binge last night, I am as of now officially back up to my highest weight of 57kg. A month and a half of restricting, almost 7 whole kg lost, all gained back in the span of 6 days. This feels like a nightmare that I just want to wake up from, I want it all to stop but it won’t. Im in so much pain, I just to purge it all out but I can’t because barely anything comes out when I try to make myself vomit and I have to wait until tonight to take any laxatives because I don’t want to risk shitting myself at work. I feel so alone, I just want this all to end. I dont want to lose my friends but I can’t control myself around them, not like I used to be able too. I can’t take another week of this constant binging because I’m hanging out with them every single fucking day. I just can’t do this, I don’t know what to do.

HUZZAH the laxatives kicked in and it looks like I’m back down to around the 52kg mark give or take. I mean I still look fat as hell and hate myself so much for letting myself gain but the binge episode has passed and I feel more in control, more like myself.

I’m actually in disbelief of how much weight I’ve managed to put on in the past couple of days, I don’t think I’ve ever looked fatter in my life like even at my highest weight so I must have managed to gain at least 5-7kg since Monday night. I’m especially concerned because I’ve already purged and taken 20+ laxatives in the past couple hours and the bloating hasn’t gone down at all so it must be legitimate weight.

I’m hoping that my laxatives kick in soon and that I’m able to digest a large amount of the binge remnants in my sleep because if I look the same tomorrow I’m genuinely gonna cancel the dinner party plans and just rot in my room and fast.

So I just got back from my friends 3 day birthday trip which ended up turning into a 3 day long binge episode.

3 days of eating 3,000/5,000+ calories a day, food noise making it impossible to do anything or feel any sense of enjoyment, comparing myself and how much I ate to my skinny friend which made me so fucking depressed because she barely ate anything, shamefully gorging myself on food in the bathrooms, being in excruciating pain and discomfort from being so bloated, and having no way of relieving myself of it due to not bringing laxatives and being unable to purge.

This feels like a nightmare, and now I’m home it’s gotten worse, I can’t stop and I’m hanging out with my other friends tomorrow where we have a whole Easter dinner planned. We are probably going to go swimming but I’m so fat anf bloated the thought of taking my clothes off or revealing even an inch of myself makes me want to die. I don’t know what to do, I just want to die. I hate myself so much, I’ve never felt so ashamed, disappointed and insecure in my life.

That being said I just took 8 laxatives and am probably gonna take another 10 or 12 in a couple hours, walking feels useless and honestly painful but once the laxatives start working I might try and exercise for a couple hours.

active 3d blogs plssss reblog and like i need moots!!!💜

Can someone make a low calorie ice cream that isn’t fucking mid cause that was a waste of 112 calories

OMFG I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING AT THE SHOPS I’ve ran out of laxatives ☹️☹️

My tight pants feel a little looser than the last time I wore them, even though my fatass binged last night and now I’m all bloated.

Managed to shoot all the way from 50.7kg to 51.5 overnight, I feel so discouraged. I’m never binging again.

Does anyone have any tips on what to do after a huge painful binge besides purging/taking laxatives and walking/exercising? I’m specifically looking for ways to debloat / minimise the discomfort and ways to feel better emotionally.

Also if anyone has any ideas on how to prevent future binges triggered by hanging out with friends, that would be greatly appreciated !!

And to no one’s surprise I did binge to the point of sickness with my friend. At this point I’m not even upset just disappointed, I mean I do this literally every time I reach a new lw and/or hang out with friends.

Im even more worried too bevause my friend is having a 3 day long birthday hang out sleepover thing and if I can’t even control myself in this situation I don’t know how im gonna do in that.

Thankfully I got 20k+ steps today so at least a small bit of it is burned, and I’m gonna take the rest of my laxative stash. Hopefully that gets rid of some of the water weight, I doubt I will weigh myself at all for the next couple days.

I think I’m gonna try liquid/water fast tomorrow and Monday and just hope for the best for the rest of the week.

God now that I am actually thinking about it I’m starting to get more and more upset at myself, I can’t believe I lost all my control just like that. I don’t know how im gonna look at myself in the mirror when I have a shower.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

I will not binge at the movies with my friend.

woke up, weighed myself and now I’m 50.7kg/BMI 17.5 MAINTAINING FOR 2 DAYS WAS SO WORTH IT LOWEST WEIGHT HERE I COME